It is hard to believe Jason and I are coming to the end of this part of our journey. What accompanies my spirit is excitement for what God has ahead for us and sadness in leaving what has become so familiar and so comfortable behind.
It is hard to even wrap my mind around all that we have seen, all the lessons we have learned and all that God has become for us. It will take a great measure of time just to process it all.
The past few weeks have been absolutely amazing for exceptionally simple reasons. We have shared moments with people that cannot be recaptured and could not have been rehearsed. We have shared in the sadness of circumstances and also in the hopeful expectation of God's mercy revealed each day. We have become so acquainted with a pace of life that allows moments to be captured for what they are rather than what they could have been. We have learned to let go of our vision for success and accomplishment and embrace the vision God had placed in front of us all along. We have met people whose faith and commitment bring a humbling reality to my own faith and commitment to God.
What has struck my heart so deeply and has moved me to a new place of understanding are the people who serve out of their own brokenness and reach out into their wounded and bleeding communities. All too often, crowns are given to the ones who come from their comfortable lives to temporarily live and work to make a difference in a foreign land. Admiration is given where maybe it isn't truly due. The true heroes are the very people of Zimbabwe; the ones who live each day through the trauma of shattered economics and corrupt political systems. They are the ones who give out of their poverty to ones who have even less than they. These heroes are the object of so many ministries, yet more often than not, the ministers are the ones left inspired. The people of Zimbabwe have left a mark on our lives that can never be erased.
The three volunteers we have trained for the home-based care program live within their area of ministry. Their homes are small brick houses with cement floors, a toilet and only 2 small rooms. No shower, bath tub, private space or comforts of any kind. The water is filthy and the electricity is off the majority of the time. They have no transportation of their own. They eat 1 or 2 meals a day; the same meal everyday. They serve because their hearts are full of love and compassion for those who are sick and hurting. Their communities display endless need and they work day in and day out to better the lives of others. They are fearlessly devoted and give even when it hurts. They do all this with enthusiasm and a depth of joy that cannot be mistaken for anything else but the power and love of God in their lives.
We were recently told that "we give not because we are rich, but we are rich because we give". I believe this statement more closely reflects the lives of the people here. Their own sickness, hunger and poverty does not deter them from giving to ones whose needs are even greater. It is a stark contrast to having much and giving little. We don't need much to give much as Zimbabweans have shown us. We simply need to walk in obedience to the way of love and trust the God who supplies the lack.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Friday, October 31, 2008
One victory at a time...
Some days welcome encouragement like rain in a time of drought. Jason and I had been going through a time of frustration as it didn’t seem ministry was progressing as quickly as we had hoped. Energy was running low and the little resources we had were shrinking quickly. Not to mention, things just happen very slowly in Zimbabwe.
We have been working for the last 6 weeks to set up a home based care program. Right now, our organization has few funds for this ministry, but we are seeing answers to prayer in that direction and trusting God to provide the lack. We need fuel, basic medical supplies, food and medicines in order to fully meet some basic physical needs of bedridden patients. We are trusting God for those things and believing in His provision.
We found 3 incredible local volunteers who will be running this program after we leave. They all live in the same area and will be visiting patients several times a week. Tuesday, we went to visit one of our patients. Honestly, Jason and I were blown away by this man’s progress in only a week, because truly, we didn’t give him the necessary physical supplies he desperately needed. We offered what we could, which was a donated wheelchair, so that maybe eventually he could attend church.
Last week, this patient could do nothing but lie in bed, and barely sit in a chair. His bed: blankets spread out on a hard cement floor. He had nausea, thrush, back and hip pain. He couldn’t bear weight on either of his feet as he was suffering severe neuropathic pain. He also is legally blind. We managed to transport him to a local clinic, where he received only the little assistance the clinic could offer; which was an antinausea med (that actually causes diarrhea), and some Tylenol.
After taking him home, I did some basic teaching on mouth care, muscle strengthening, and nausea management. We also encouraged the family to boil their water, as they had not been previously doing this. Jason, I, and our three wonderful, almost trained volunteers, did a bible study and prayed with him. We knew God could certainly meet this man’s needs. We knew God could bring healing and strength back to this man. He knew and believed it too. He has a great faith.
When we arrived on Tuesday, our patient was sitting in a chair, smiling and bright. He and his family informed us that he actually had been up walking. He denied any further back, hip and foot pain. His nausea was gone and he was eating fairly well. I call this a miracle. God is beyond amazing. He is able to meet needs when our human strength and resources run out.
I believe for both Jason and I, this was yet again, another reminder, that God does not need supplies to meet needs. His power is limitless and “all things are possible for those who believe.” Mark 9:23.
We have been working for the last 6 weeks to set up a home based care program. Right now, our organization has few funds for this ministry, but we are seeing answers to prayer in that direction and trusting God to provide the lack. We need fuel, basic medical supplies, food and medicines in order to fully meet some basic physical needs of bedridden patients. We are trusting God for those things and believing in His provision.
We found 3 incredible local volunteers who will be running this program after we leave. They all live in the same area and will be visiting patients several times a week. Tuesday, we went to visit one of our patients. Honestly, Jason and I were blown away by this man’s progress in only a week, because truly, we didn’t give him the necessary physical supplies he desperately needed. We offered what we could, which was a donated wheelchair, so that maybe eventually he could attend church.
Last week, this patient could do nothing but lie in bed, and barely sit in a chair. His bed: blankets spread out on a hard cement floor. He had nausea, thrush, back and hip pain. He couldn’t bear weight on either of his feet as he was suffering severe neuropathic pain. He also is legally blind. We managed to transport him to a local clinic, where he received only the little assistance the clinic could offer; which was an antinausea med (that actually causes diarrhea), and some Tylenol.
After taking him home, I did some basic teaching on mouth care, muscle strengthening, and nausea management. We also encouraged the family to boil their water, as they had not been previously doing this. Jason, I, and our three wonderful, almost trained volunteers, did a bible study and prayed with him. We knew God could certainly meet this man’s needs. We knew God could bring healing and strength back to this man. He knew and believed it too. He has a great faith.
When we arrived on Tuesday, our patient was sitting in a chair, smiling and bright. He and his family informed us that he actually had been up walking. He denied any further back, hip and foot pain. His nausea was gone and he was eating fairly well. I call this a miracle. God is beyond amazing. He is able to meet needs when our human strength and resources run out.
I believe for both Jason and I, this was yet again, another reminder, that God does not need supplies to meet needs. His power is limitless and “all things are possible for those who believe.” Mark 9:23.
Monday, October 27, 2008
The end of ourselves ...
We're at that point in the trip when enthusiasm has waned, when frustrations are piled on top of frustrations and it seems like nothing good is really happening. I have to be honest, we've talked about quitting a number of times. Usually after a particularly difficult day when we've been stranded at the house because transport is tied up elsewhere. Or after someone dies and we can only sit with the widow unable to really help with the grief and a very uncertain future. Things just don't work the way we want them to around here. We've been waiting for a phone line to be put in at the house since we arrived here. Still nothing. The need still seems so very, very big. But yesterday I felt God was telling me to stop striving so hard to see something change, but to rather trust that He is working in the midst of the chaos to produce change. It's bigger than me. Bigger than Ann, but not bigger than Him. We can push so hard, try with all our strength to impact the people around us that we actually end up pushing them away. We can become overly critical and discouraged, when we are the ones who aren't seeing what is really going on. And we've missed the real purpose we're here for. I have to trust that God will fill the gap between the end of my strength and abilities and the fulfillment of a need. So we'll persevere through boring weekends stuck at the house, through deaths and illness, hunger and despair. Because God was here before us, and will be here when we are gone. Always working, always comforting, always faithful.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
To remember a child
There have been several stories over the last few weeks that have gripped my heart; stories of life and stories of death; stories of successes and stories of failures; stories that leave the soul at peace and stories that haunt the soul forever. The following story will never leave my heart or mind. I cannot erase the images even if I wanted to, for this little one's life is too precious to be a forgotten one.
Last Wednesday, Jason and I spent the day at a nursing home visiting patients. Now, this home is primarily a nursing home for very ill adults. That day we learned a 9 year old boy was going to be admitted. He was HIV positive and his condition was listed as "failure to thrive secondary to severe malnutrition". Jason and I were busy attending to other patients as the nurses were busy admitting him. I caught a brief glimse of him. Small, scared, and almost lifeless. I also saw his family who had come to leave him and something unsettled in my spirit began to weigh on me. I had to look away, as my throat was tight from fighting back my instant reaction to cry.
After his admission, Jason and I got a chance to talk with the nurses and obtain his story. The little boy's name, I will call Tom (I feel it best to keep his name private). The family who had dropped him off was his aunt and uncle. Both of Tom's parents had died of AIDS. The reason Tom was brought to the care facility, was that he was too sick to care for at home and his aunt and uncle were working all day. He had a fever, thrush and nausea and he simply would not and could not eat. There was also no sufficient supplies to give him IV hydration, nutrition or antibiotics.
Tom was sitting in a wheelchair. He looked as if he was about 5 years old instead of 9. He could hardly support the weight of his small, emaciated body. He sat, staring at the floor and wore no expression on his face. A fly was buzzing around a small sore at the side of his mouth and he was too weak to notice or care. Jason and I went over and started talking to him. His eyes were on us, but they looked past any type of possible warmth or love we could offer. His stare was dead and hopeless. The nurse got him up to take him back to bed, and the grimace of suffering he displayed on his face, I will never forget. My throat was tight with pain. Jason and I followed the nurse to Tom's bed.
He lay there with his eyes closed; his body so small for such a large bed. We both held his hand and prayed. We prayed hard. I finally stopped fighting with my tears and just let them come. I didn't know what to do or how to pray or what to say. All I remember saying was, "please God, just help him, please". My words were stuck and my soul was wrestling and I felt like I couldn't breathe. Jason kept praying. After a few more minutes, Jason and I went outside, and I just sobbed. The pain and the suffering and the hopelessness that such a little person was enduring was absolutely wrong. All that seemed right was to see him living like a normal, happy little boy, who could go to school and run, play ball, eat ice cream, have campouts with his friends and family and grow up with health and strength and a beautiful future. Everything wrong and ugly held his life. It made me almost enraged.
Today, we went back. We hadn't been back for a week due to my own sickness and some other problems. My heart had been heavy for him all week. Today, we had brought some things for him and were eager to see if he had made any progress and if a miracle had happened. We sat in the office and got reports of patients who had died and ones who had gotten stronger and had been discharged. Nothing was mentioned of Tom. I almost hated to ask because I feared the answer would not be an easy one. I did, though. And, yes, the answer was far from easy and I felt like the wind was taken from me. Tom had died last Thursday, only 1 day after we had seen him. The nurses were able to obtain a little more information of his home life and by all appearances severe neglect was more or less the cause of his suffering. Little food was ever fed to him (in this case,not because it wasn't available) and he was watched on and off by a maid. Aunt and uncle were hardly involved as they both worked all day. Zimbabwe doesn't have adaquate social services to follow up on the case.
Sickening and unjust are the only two words that come to mind. The choices of adults determined the ruin of a life. This little boy was a victim of so much more than poor economics and lack of food. He was a victim of human selfishness to its ugly core. And, he was a victim of a preventable disease.
I wish I could give this story a happy ending. Unfortunately, Tom's is the story of others as well and an example of the grim reality of life and death. It is the reality that the choices we humans make effect far more than just ourselves. If it weren't for God in my life, I could easily make many of the same choices that so many do. I pray the choices I do make only serve to bring life to the innocent and helpless and not death and destruction.
Last Wednesday, Jason and I spent the day at a nursing home visiting patients. Now, this home is primarily a nursing home for very ill adults. That day we learned a 9 year old boy was going to be admitted. He was HIV positive and his condition was listed as "failure to thrive secondary to severe malnutrition". Jason and I were busy attending to other patients as the nurses were busy admitting him. I caught a brief glimse of him. Small, scared, and almost lifeless. I also saw his family who had come to leave him and something unsettled in my spirit began to weigh on me. I had to look away, as my throat was tight from fighting back my instant reaction to cry.
After his admission, Jason and I got a chance to talk with the nurses and obtain his story. The little boy's name, I will call Tom (I feel it best to keep his name private). The family who had dropped him off was his aunt and uncle. Both of Tom's parents had died of AIDS. The reason Tom was brought to the care facility, was that he was too sick to care for at home and his aunt and uncle were working all day. He had a fever, thrush and nausea and he simply would not and could not eat. There was also no sufficient supplies to give him IV hydration, nutrition or antibiotics.
Tom was sitting in a wheelchair. He looked as if he was about 5 years old instead of 9. He could hardly support the weight of his small, emaciated body. He sat, staring at the floor and wore no expression on his face. A fly was buzzing around a small sore at the side of his mouth and he was too weak to notice or care. Jason and I went over and started talking to him. His eyes were on us, but they looked past any type of possible warmth or love we could offer. His stare was dead and hopeless. The nurse got him up to take him back to bed, and the grimace of suffering he displayed on his face, I will never forget. My throat was tight with pain. Jason and I followed the nurse to Tom's bed.
He lay there with his eyes closed; his body so small for such a large bed. We both held his hand and prayed. We prayed hard. I finally stopped fighting with my tears and just let them come. I didn't know what to do or how to pray or what to say. All I remember saying was, "please God, just help him, please". My words were stuck and my soul was wrestling and I felt like I couldn't breathe. Jason kept praying. After a few more minutes, Jason and I went outside, and I just sobbed. The pain and the suffering and the hopelessness that such a little person was enduring was absolutely wrong. All that seemed right was to see him living like a normal, happy little boy, who could go to school and run, play ball, eat ice cream, have campouts with his friends and family and grow up with health and strength and a beautiful future. Everything wrong and ugly held his life. It made me almost enraged.
Today, we went back. We hadn't been back for a week due to my own sickness and some other problems. My heart had been heavy for him all week. Today, we had brought some things for him and were eager to see if he had made any progress and if a miracle had happened. We sat in the office and got reports of patients who had died and ones who had gotten stronger and had been discharged. Nothing was mentioned of Tom. I almost hated to ask because I feared the answer would not be an easy one. I did, though. And, yes, the answer was far from easy and I felt like the wind was taken from me. Tom had died last Thursday, only 1 day after we had seen him. The nurses were able to obtain a little more information of his home life and by all appearances severe neglect was more or less the cause of his suffering. Little food was ever fed to him (in this case,not because it wasn't available) and he was watched on and off by a maid. Aunt and uncle were hardly involved as they both worked all day. Zimbabwe doesn't have adaquate social services to follow up on the case.
Sickening and unjust are the only two words that come to mind. The choices of adults determined the ruin of a life. This little boy was a victim of so much more than poor economics and lack of food. He was a victim of human selfishness to its ugly core. And, he was a victim of a preventable disease.
I wish I could give this story a happy ending. Unfortunately, Tom's is the story of others as well and an example of the grim reality of life and death. It is the reality that the choices we humans make effect far more than just ourselves. If it weren't for God in my life, I could easily make many of the same choices that so many do. I pray the choices I do make only serve to bring life to the innocent and helpless and not death and destruction.
Monday, October 20, 2008
prayer request
This post is more of a prayer request than anything. It has been a rough week to say the least. Ministry has been extremely challenging for a dozen reasons. We have seen some truly heart-wrenching things that leave one almost speechless. I hope to write more on those things later.
Jason’s grandpa passed away yesterday, so as you can imagine, it is extremely difficult being so far away. Please be praying for strength and encouragement for us and for the family back home. We know God is good and faithful and He proves that to us every day.
I have also been pretty sick as well, but hopefully I am on the mend. This has been just as challenging emotionally for me as it has been physically, as we have so much left to complete in only a few short weeks. God knows. None of the circumstances we have faced come as a surprise to Him, and He continues to provide and prove faithful through each day.
There is so much to tell and so much yet to process. Hopefully, I’ll be able to post more later.
Blessings to you all. Thank you so much for all the encouragement.
Jason’s grandpa passed away yesterday, so as you can imagine, it is extremely difficult being so far away. Please be praying for strength and encouragement for us and for the family back home. We know God is good and faithful and He proves that to us every day.
I have also been pretty sick as well, but hopefully I am on the mend. This has been just as challenging emotionally for me as it has been physically, as we have so much left to complete in only a few short weeks. God knows. None of the circumstances we have faced come as a surprise to Him, and He continues to provide and prove faithful through each day.
There is so much to tell and so much yet to process. Hopefully, I’ll be able to post more later.
Blessings to you all. Thank you so much for all the encouragement.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Peace
I think as Christians/humans, we can really mistake a lack of peace in our hearts for something not being God's will. I think it is a good thing to really evaluate where that lack of peace comes from. Many times, I know for myself, I have related it more to my own fears and emotions. For example, I know God brought us here to Africa. Have I always felt excited and peaceful about it? Absolutely not. In fact, there are a lot of really rough days; days where I could easily get on a plane back home. But, I know that would be following how I feel for the day. Rather, I have to go against my feelings and stick it out because this was a door God opened for us and He made the way for us to walk through.
Doing something God has called you to, more often than not, is a battle and difficult and really hard. Sometimes a calling is simply an open door that God has put before you. He will give you the courage to walk through it despite the human emotions that are often contrary to the call. I think too, there is a difference between the peace of God and human peace. Human peace often rests on circumstances being good and lining up the way we like them. Human peace=a feeling of happiness, which is a state of being in relation to one's circumstances or happenings. Human peace is often merely a happy emotional state, when everything around a person is well. God's peace is a peace deep within the soul. It is a rest in midst of chaos. It isn't dependant on everything being good or happy. Honestly, emotionally, especially today, I don't feel peaceful. My circumstances are extremely frustrating and difficult. So, even though I am not humanly at peace, my soul is at rest and I have God's peace. I know despite my emotions, I am right where God wants me. It is really hard to explain. I hope you can follow me. I truly believe this is an important distinction God has clarified for me.
Doing something God has called you to, more often than not, is a battle and difficult and really hard. Sometimes a calling is simply an open door that God has put before you. He will give you the courage to walk through it despite the human emotions that are often contrary to the call. I think too, there is a difference between the peace of God and human peace. Human peace often rests on circumstances being good and lining up the way we like them. Human peace=a feeling of happiness, which is a state of being in relation to one's circumstances or happenings. Human peace is often merely a happy emotional state, when everything around a person is well. God's peace is a peace deep within the soul. It is a rest in midst of chaos. It isn't dependant on everything being good or happy. Honestly, emotionally, especially today, I don't feel peaceful. My circumstances are extremely frustrating and difficult. So, even though I am not humanly at peace, my soul is at rest and I have God's peace. I know despite my emotions, I am right where God wants me. It is really hard to explain. I hope you can follow me. I truly believe this is an important distinction God has clarified for me.
Life lessons
The lessons life teaches are quite amazing things and the way they are taught never quite come as imagined.
Before I left for Zimbabwe, one thing I had asked God to do in my life was to empty me of myself and to truly rid me of all that stood in the way of God being fully able to work. Now, don't misunderstand me here; God is fully capable of working with or without my cooperation, but there is much to be said for being "poured out like a drink offering" 2 Tim. 3:6. Ponder that for a brief moment. When water or fluid flows out, it has no control as to where it goes. Offering myself in such a way that I am yielding completely to the power and flow of God in my life, what can be accomplished is beyond the imagination.
What I have come to realize is that all of my skills and abilities, especially as a nurse, have been ripped out from under me. For the first time in my life, all that I have been trained to do and am capable of doing, I have literally, totally and completely been unable to perform. Why? One would have to come here and see to understand. It is almost beyond the point of explanation. I can assess and know what someone needs, but there is no way, at this point to meet that need. No money, little transport, no fuel, no food, no meds, no supplies. Nothing. I can't even write a check to churches we have been to visit. I can't repay the hospitality given to us by so many. I can do nothing in myself. I have nothing to offer people or God except myself and my prayers. I feel like a broken vessel, humanly incapable of doing anything and I feel stripped of myself and left bleeding. But, it doesn't stop there.
Jason read this to me this morning. He found it randomly in a book. It is by Alice Gray. It seemed perfectly fitting. "Mother Theresa attended a gathering with kings, and presidents, and statesmen from all over the world. They were there in their crowns and jewels and silks and Mother Theresa wore her sari held together by a safety pin. One of the nobleman spoke to her of her work with the poorest of the poor in Calcutta. He asked her if she didn't become discouraged because she saw so few successes in her ministry. Mother Theresa answered, 'No, I do not become discouraged. You see, God has not called me to a ministry of success. He has called me to a ministry of mercy' ".
God has been speaking this to my heart: "It is not about you or what you can offer people; it's about Me, what I can do, and the life and miracles I can offer. You think you trust me and think I do the work, but all along, it has been you that you are relying on. You asked for me to empty you. That's why I brought you to a place where nothing is humanly possible. So, start trusting Me and allowing Me to truly work. I will fill you with Me and not more of you". Hard and humbling and my prayer has certainly been answered, but not in the way I had anticipated.
So, what am I learning to do with this? Pray constantly. Trust in the God of miracles and that He is fully capable of multiplying the little that is here. I am realizing that sometimes all I can offer is compassion and mercy. God can do something beautiful with that and when it is all I have, it can be more than enough.
I will share a story I hope will bless you as much as it did me. We went to a home the other day to visit a young woman who is HIV positive. She has two young children. One of the children was a little girl about 2 years old. She didn't smile at all and it appeared that she was not feeling well. Apparently, she had a fever that day. They did not have money to take her to a clinic. I did not have children's tylenol to give them to help reduce the fever. All we could offer was prayer and that the power of the mighty God would touch her. When we went back to visit her the next day, the little girl came running out, smiling. The grandmother informed us that after we prayed, the little girl's fever was gone. Totally gone. She is well and happy. God didn't need children's tylenol. Who was I to think He did. Mercy and prayer was all we needed and a belief that God is true to His Word.
"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us" Ephesians 3:20.
Before I left for Zimbabwe, one thing I had asked God to do in my life was to empty me of myself and to truly rid me of all that stood in the way of God being fully able to work. Now, don't misunderstand me here; God is fully capable of working with or without my cooperation, but there is much to be said for being "poured out like a drink offering" 2 Tim. 3:6. Ponder that for a brief moment. When water or fluid flows out, it has no control as to where it goes. Offering myself in such a way that I am yielding completely to the power and flow of God in my life, what can be accomplished is beyond the imagination.
What I have come to realize is that all of my skills and abilities, especially as a nurse, have been ripped out from under me. For the first time in my life, all that I have been trained to do and am capable of doing, I have literally, totally and completely been unable to perform. Why? One would have to come here and see to understand. It is almost beyond the point of explanation. I can assess and know what someone needs, but there is no way, at this point to meet that need. No money, little transport, no fuel, no food, no meds, no supplies. Nothing. I can't even write a check to churches we have been to visit. I can't repay the hospitality given to us by so many. I can do nothing in myself. I have nothing to offer people or God except myself and my prayers. I feel like a broken vessel, humanly incapable of doing anything and I feel stripped of myself and left bleeding. But, it doesn't stop there.
Jason read this to me this morning. He found it randomly in a book. It is by Alice Gray. It seemed perfectly fitting. "Mother Theresa attended a gathering with kings, and presidents, and statesmen from all over the world. They were there in their crowns and jewels and silks and Mother Theresa wore her sari held together by a safety pin. One of the nobleman spoke to her of her work with the poorest of the poor in Calcutta. He asked her if she didn't become discouraged because she saw so few successes in her ministry. Mother Theresa answered, 'No, I do not become discouraged. You see, God has not called me to a ministry of success. He has called me to a ministry of mercy' ".
God has been speaking this to my heart: "It is not about you or what you can offer people; it's about Me, what I can do, and the life and miracles I can offer. You think you trust me and think I do the work, but all along, it has been you that you are relying on. You asked for me to empty you. That's why I brought you to a place where nothing is humanly possible. So, start trusting Me and allowing Me to truly work. I will fill you with Me and not more of you". Hard and humbling and my prayer has certainly been answered, but not in the way I had anticipated.
So, what am I learning to do with this? Pray constantly. Trust in the God of miracles and that He is fully capable of multiplying the little that is here. I am realizing that sometimes all I can offer is compassion and mercy. God can do something beautiful with that and when it is all I have, it can be more than enough.
I will share a story I hope will bless you as much as it did me. We went to a home the other day to visit a young woman who is HIV positive. She has two young children. One of the children was a little girl about 2 years old. She didn't smile at all and it appeared that she was not feeling well. Apparently, she had a fever that day. They did not have money to take her to a clinic. I did not have children's tylenol to give them to help reduce the fever. All we could offer was prayer and that the power of the mighty God would touch her. When we went back to visit her the next day, the little girl came running out, smiling. The grandmother informed us that after we prayed, the little girl's fever was gone. Totally gone. She is well and happy. God didn't need children's tylenol. Who was I to think He did. Mercy and prayer was all we needed and a belief that God is true to His Word.
"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us" Ephesians 3:20.
One small step at a time
Temba just received the first bill this month (there are 2 payments/month) for the internet. It was a whopping 15 million. That's probably around 200USD ... I don't know the exchange right now. That is not even for past usage. It's payment simply for the priviledge to use their snail-paced, wonky service. Gotta love it ;)
Public transport, on some very dodgy, probly-shouldn't-be-driven minibuses, has jumped from 200ZD when we arrived to 3000ZD per person one way. They only leave when they are full, and by full I mean jammed in like sardines and then left out in the sun for awhile. It's most likely that you will have someone sitting partly on your lap along with all their blankets, groceries and the occassional chicken. All this combined with the distinctive scents of BO, woodsmoke and gasoline intermingle to make sure you have a pleasant,somewhat heady experience before being dumped on the side of the road to walk the rest of the way to your destination. It's fun, you really should try it sometime.
As you may have gathered by this point in our exciting tales of Zim life, it is extremely difficult to do ANYTHING here. For example, in order to make a phone call one must purchase airtime for one's cell phone. In order to purchase airtime, one must travel into town on foot, bicycle, public transport or catch a lift with a gracious host/passerby. Next one must locate a certain individual on the streets who has airtime cards for sale, and hope that one has enough cash to make the purchase. Should one find oneself short on cash (Zim Dollars) one must locate another person (usually a woman standing looking suspicious with a bag over her shoulder) and exchange foreign currency for ZD's. Then one is free to return to streetside entrepeneur number one to complete the airtime purchase. All the while hoping that a) the rates don't go up in the interim and b) that one does not get scammed by said individuals. Fortunately, for Ann and I, our dear friend Temba is usually the one who goes through the hassle on our behalf.
And if this sounds like I am complaining, I assure you I'm not! I wouldn't trade this time for anything. The lessons we are learning, the friends we have met and the amazing answers to prayer we have received more than make up for the minor inconveniences we have experienced. God is good, and He is working in Zimbabwe in ways that I cannot even begin to write about. Simply know that God cares about every little part of your life, and He is always paying attention and actively working in it.
One small step at a time
Ann and I made it to a location or township yesterday (Wednesday) called Nkhulamani. We have a couple of local volunteers out there who are helping us with the Care & Compassion ministry. One of the volunteers, Gertrude, is a counsellor at the hospital near us and has an amazing story herself. She is a mother of three, struggling to feed her family on a small income and is 'living positively' (she is HIV+). When she got sick she decided to help others going through the same thing, instead of 'feeling sorry for herself and giving up on life'. She encourages so many people both at the hospital and in her community - she is an inspiration to us as well.
We visited 4 families yesterday in their tiny little homes. None of the patients were bed-ridden, but all had similar stories of how hard it is to find food, medications and work. It will be a challenge to meet even the simplest of their needs, but God is good and he will come through for them. We plan on returning Friday to give what we have and visit with them some more. I tell you it's a pedestrian life over here. We walked from house to house with a backpack and some water in about 98 degree weather. But the only way to get to know a city is to walk it. We miss so much of what is true and real about the people and buildings and life of a place when we blow by it in a car. At least that is what I keep telling myself as we plod along.
It has been an awesome experience so far, even with all the challenges we have faced. Thank you all for the prayers, emails and words of encouragment.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Jason's post
Sometimes in all the heartbreaking stories there is one that ends happily, and shows the power of a church that cares enough to get involved in the life of a stranger.
Bonani Hadebe, a local pastor, told us the story of a 14 year old boy who found himself in a Bulawayo government hospital with 'prostate issues'. Both of his parents had passed away, and he lived with his sister in the rural areas near Kariba. He had gone to a clinic in Kariba to seek treatment, but had been loaded into an ambulance and sent to a hospital in Gweru. When they couldn't help they sent him to Bulawayo. The poor guy had no idea where he was, because he had never left his home area before. His sister didn't know what had happened to him either. The hospital refused to treat, feed or even clothe him, because he couldn't pay the hospital bill and he had no one to feed or bathe him. He was simply lying there in pain, neglected and far from home.
The church decided to cover the costs of the treatment, they clothed him and prepared meals for him. A couple of ladies from the church would come daily and care for him. They prayed for him and whatever was causing him to be unable to urinate was healed. But now the doctors refused to discharge him and wanted to proceed with surgery anyway. Eventually they conceded that there was no need and they discharged him with a clean bill of health. The church bought him a bus ticket so he could go up to Kariba where he could find his way back to his sister's home.
Sorry that reads like a news bulletin, but it's still a good story. Thank God for churches who don't just talk about doing good, they do it.
Bonani Hadebe, a local pastor, told us the story of a 14 year old boy who found himself in a Bulawayo government hospital with 'prostate issues'. Both of his parents had passed away, and he lived with his sister in the rural areas near Kariba. He had gone to a clinic in Kariba to seek treatment, but had been loaded into an ambulance and sent to a hospital in Gweru. When they couldn't help they sent him to Bulawayo. The poor guy had no idea where he was, because he had never left his home area before. His sister didn't know what had happened to him either. The hospital refused to treat, feed or even clothe him, because he couldn't pay the hospital bill and he had no one to feed or bathe him. He was simply lying there in pain, neglected and far from home.
The church decided to cover the costs of the treatment, they clothed him and prepared meals for him. A couple of ladies from the church would come daily and care for him. They prayed for him and whatever was causing him to be unable to urinate was healed. But now the doctors refused to discharge him and wanted to proceed with surgery anyway. Eventually they conceded that there was no need and they discharged him with a clean bill of health. The church bought him a bus ticket so he could go up to Kariba where he could find his way back to his sister's home.
Sorry that reads like a news bulletin, but it's still a good story. Thank God for churches who don't just talk about doing good, they do it.
what I'm thankful for
What I'm thankful for:
Since coming to Zimbabwe, I have started realize how blessed I am. I don't say this casually, not in the least. I am blessed with conveniences and luxuries, not necessities, although I am abundantly blessed with those as well. As I was sitting outside tonight, looking at the stars, it all started to come to me; not just a realization, but a humbling awakening. I pray the sting of reality will never leave my eyes, my heart, my soul or my mind. I pray I will never, ever view my blessings as something I am entitled to, but something that has been graciously granted to me. The humbling part; why me? Why not every one of these precious lives, whose hopes and dreams are much like mine? I don't have the answers to those questions. The knowledge of them is far too complex and deep to be answered or understood. What I do know is that I can never view my life at home the same. Never again.
I am thankful that I have and know my grandparents and knew two of my great-grandparents. Most children here will hardly know their own parents. Mom and dad will have died of AIDS.
I'm thankful that most of my family live in the same town. We could be scattered all over the world, but we are fortunate enough to live near each other. I know my uncles, aunt and cousins. I know my nieces and nephews. None of them have AIDS.
I'm thankful for my reliable car. I'm thankful every gas station in town has fuel; all the time; anytime. I'm thankful I don't have to travel to a neighboring country to buy fuel for my vehicle. I'm thankful that when my car breaks down, all the parts needed to repair it are available and I don't have to go and fetch a mechanic to come to my house to repair my vehicle. I'm thankful that when I need a new car, I can find one that is used and is affordable. I'm thankful that banks give loans for cars.
I'm thankful that I don't have to get up at 4am, walk to the bank and stand in line for hours every day of the week and only receive enough money to buy a few basic items; porridge, tomatoes, cabbage. I'm thankful that when I get a paycheck from work, I don't have to wait 7 days for the check to clear to even get a small amount of money from that check; all the while my family and I go hungry. I'm thankful I can withdraw 100% of the money in my bank account whenever I need it. I'm thankful that$1 today is worth $1 tomorrow. I'm thankful a loaf of bread doesn't equate to 500 US dollars and the next day cost $1000. I'm thankful I can keep my job, because it doesn't cost me more in transport to and from my job than what I am actually being paid. I'm thankful I can pay my bills by mail and not worry about the post office raiding the mail and stealing the money. I'm thankful I can pay bills on the internet if I want to, because the internet is reliable.
I'm thankful that electricity is available 99.9% of the time and I don't have to plan my life around when the power is available. I'm thankful I have clean drinking water, straight out of the tap.
I'm thankful that if and when I need a doctor, there is always one available. I'm thankful that when those I love are in the hospital, I don't actually have to bring food and supplies in for them. I'm thankful they will be cared for and not left naked and hungry. I'm thankful I can go to the pharmacy and what I need will be available. I'm thankful that as a nurse, I can actually help my patients instead of just watch them suffer. I'm thankful that in the U.S., generally the dying don't die in agony; they die with medication to make them comfortable.
I'm thankful that the store shelves are full. I'm thankful that if I enjoy a meal out with family or friends, I will still be able to eat the rest of the month. I'm thankful that I know what hunger is and it is not the feeling you get in between breakfast and lunch or lunch and dinner or dinner and bedtime. Hunger is when there is no food in your house and little in the stores. If there is food in the stores, the prices are far too high and if you aren't among the more fortunate to travel to Botswana or South Africa for food, you probably will starve. Hunger is when you finish your one and only meal for the day, and your stomach still aches for more. This is the same meal you have had night after night after night. Hunger is when you have a little food in your home, but your dare not indulge today, because you may not eat tomorrow. Hunger is when you set out on a journey to find food and leave your 3 little ones at home who are too weak to travel with you, only to return 5 days later to find that each of your children have died from starvation. Now, both your stomach and soul are empty. (This is a true story, folks.)
I'm thankful my eyes have seen the difficult and tragic reality of life here in Zimbabwe. I'm thankful I have truly been awakened to the fact, like I said, that most of what I have are not necessities, but convienences and luxuries. I only pray that God will show me what to do with the sights I have seen and how best to respond to the needs of the world. I pray that compassion and sensitivity for this country are forever etched in my soul and that I will not go home and become complacent and calloused. I pray that whenever I begin to become frustrated with circumstances I face at home, that I will quickly remember, I am blessed. I pray I will remember the faces and stories of those who, as Temba says, are "living miracle lives". People are truly, truly amazing here. They have so little and face the obstacles and hardships of daily life with joy, vitality and a faith in God that would bring most of us to our knees. I was awakened today to another humbling truth; I came here to encourage and teach, yet that is what I have received by each and every person I have met. I am humbled.
Dear readers, may you remember today that you are blessed. Take time this moment to thank our almighty God for the life He has given you and pray He will show you how to bless the world He loves, in return.
Since coming to Zimbabwe, I have started realize how blessed I am. I don't say this casually, not in the least. I am blessed with conveniences and luxuries, not necessities, although I am abundantly blessed with those as well. As I was sitting outside tonight, looking at the stars, it all started to come to me; not just a realization, but a humbling awakening. I pray the sting of reality will never leave my eyes, my heart, my soul or my mind. I pray I will never, ever view my blessings as something I am entitled to, but something that has been graciously granted to me. The humbling part; why me? Why not every one of these precious lives, whose hopes and dreams are much like mine? I don't have the answers to those questions. The knowledge of them is far too complex and deep to be answered or understood. What I do know is that I can never view my life at home the same. Never again.
I am thankful that I have and know my grandparents and knew two of my great-grandparents. Most children here will hardly know their own parents. Mom and dad will have died of AIDS.
I'm thankful that most of my family live in the same town. We could be scattered all over the world, but we are fortunate enough to live near each other. I know my uncles, aunt and cousins. I know my nieces and nephews. None of them have AIDS.
I'm thankful for my reliable car. I'm thankful every gas station in town has fuel; all the time; anytime. I'm thankful I don't have to travel to a neighboring country to buy fuel for my vehicle. I'm thankful that when my car breaks down, all the parts needed to repair it are available and I don't have to go and fetch a mechanic to come to my house to repair my vehicle. I'm thankful that when I need a new car, I can find one that is used and is affordable. I'm thankful that banks give loans for cars.
I'm thankful that I don't have to get up at 4am, walk to the bank and stand in line for hours every day of the week and only receive enough money to buy a few basic items; porridge, tomatoes, cabbage. I'm thankful that when I get a paycheck from work, I don't have to wait 7 days for the check to clear to even get a small amount of money from that check; all the while my family and I go hungry. I'm thankful I can withdraw 100% of the money in my bank account whenever I need it. I'm thankful that$1 today is worth $1 tomorrow. I'm thankful a loaf of bread doesn't equate to 500 US dollars and the next day cost $1000. I'm thankful I can keep my job, because it doesn't cost me more in transport to and from my job than what I am actually being paid. I'm thankful I can pay my bills by mail and not worry about the post office raiding the mail and stealing the money. I'm thankful I can pay bills on the internet if I want to, because the internet is reliable.
I'm thankful that electricity is available 99.9% of the time and I don't have to plan my life around when the power is available. I'm thankful I have clean drinking water, straight out of the tap.
I'm thankful that if and when I need a doctor, there is always one available. I'm thankful that when those I love are in the hospital, I don't actually have to bring food and supplies in for them. I'm thankful they will be cared for and not left naked and hungry. I'm thankful I can go to the pharmacy and what I need will be available. I'm thankful that as a nurse, I can actually help my patients instead of just watch them suffer. I'm thankful that in the U.S., generally the dying don't die in agony; they die with medication to make them comfortable.
I'm thankful that the store shelves are full. I'm thankful that if I enjoy a meal out with family or friends, I will still be able to eat the rest of the month. I'm thankful that I know what hunger is and it is not the feeling you get in between breakfast and lunch or lunch and dinner or dinner and bedtime. Hunger is when there is no food in your house and little in the stores. If there is food in the stores, the prices are far too high and if you aren't among the more fortunate to travel to Botswana or South Africa for food, you probably will starve. Hunger is when you finish your one and only meal for the day, and your stomach still aches for more. This is the same meal you have had night after night after night. Hunger is when you have a little food in your home, but your dare not indulge today, because you may not eat tomorrow. Hunger is when you set out on a journey to find food and leave your 3 little ones at home who are too weak to travel with you, only to return 5 days later to find that each of your children have died from starvation. Now, both your stomach and soul are empty. (This is a true story, folks.)
I'm thankful my eyes have seen the difficult and tragic reality of life here in Zimbabwe. I'm thankful I have truly been awakened to the fact, like I said, that most of what I have are not necessities, but convienences and luxuries. I only pray that God will show me what to do with the sights I have seen and how best to respond to the needs of the world. I pray that compassion and sensitivity for this country are forever etched in my soul and that I will not go home and become complacent and calloused. I pray that whenever I begin to become frustrated with circumstances I face at home, that I will quickly remember, I am blessed. I pray I will remember the faces and stories of those who, as Temba says, are "living miracle lives". People are truly, truly amazing here. They have so little and face the obstacles and hardships of daily life with joy, vitality and a faith in God that would bring most of us to our knees. I was awakened today to another humbling truth; I came here to encourage and teach, yet that is what I have received by each and every person I have met. I am humbled.
Dear readers, may you remember today that you are blessed. Take time this moment to thank our almighty God for the life He has given you and pray He will show you how to bless the world He loves, in return.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
To my readers
Dear readers:) Please excuse any spelling or grammar errors. I often type these quickly with little time to proof-read. I type faster than my brain thinks and often I'll use the wrong word for something, even though I know what the correct one is. So, my apologies:)
Love you all and thank you to everyone who has commented on the blog. You are all very encouraging and I wish I could respond to all your comments:)
Love you!!!
Love you all and thank you to everyone who has commented on the blog. You are all very encouraging and I wish I could respond to all your comments:)
Love you!!!
The way of God
"I will consider all your works and meditate on all your mighty deeds. Your ways, God, are Holy. What god is as great as our God? You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples". Psalm 77:13-14
The other day, Julie and her son Tekunda told the story of his birth. Temba and Julie had asked God specifically for a boy. They believed God had blessed them with a boy, even having no proof from an ultrasound. They bought all boy clothes and were preparing their home for the arrival of the son they knew without a doubt God was blessing them with. Apparently, Julie had extremely high blood pressure and was having some complications with her labor. Her usual doctor was out of town and another physician was assisting in her labor. She was not impressed with him at all as he was not taking the complications seriously. Tekunda was born. He was not able to cry. During the labor and delivery, he had not received enough oxygen to his brain. He was limp and lifeless. The doctors informed Temba and Julie that their son would either die or remain severely disabled all his life. They refused to except the doctor's report as they knew this blessing, this son was from God and Satan was trying to steal him away. They gathered and prayed that God would restore their son. He did. Fully. The doctors were amazed and speechless as the life before them was a miracle. Tekunda is now an adult. He is full of the life and love of God and has been given an amazing musical talent which he is using to serve God. Satan knew this boy had a calling on his life, but God knew too, and would not let the enemy win.
As I sit here, I struggle to even find words; to find words that capture the incredible reverence I have for my mighty God. There comes a time, when all that can be done is literally to bow, face down before God. The only words that come to mind seem so small. Thank you, God.
The last few days have been mind-numbing to say the least. So much has happened. Scenes of broken people flash through my mind and stories retell of both sadness and utter joy.
We went back to the AIDs nursing home yesterday. We met up with a local HIV/AIDS counselor, Gertrude. Jason spent time in the male ward. Gertrude and I spent time in the female ward. Six female patients were there. We visited each one. All but two were Christians. We were able to minister and pray with all of them. We got to know their stories and a little of their life. Each of them were 40 years old or younger with children left at home. Their faces demonstrated a shame of their disease and their eyes were looking for any glimpse of hope. Gertrude and I talked about God's power, His love and His compassion. The disease that tortured them was not from God and it broke His heart. We read scriptures with them that talked of God's heart of compassion and that no matter what they face, God is still with them and will not leave them. Their life is not over. Because they believe in Jesus Christ and have accepted Him as their Savior, the very Spirit of God lives in them. Because they have an eternal spirit, when they die, they will live on. We reminded them that they have been washed clean by the blood of Jesus and can never be snatched from His hand. They are safe in Him. One woman in particular said she really felt peace from that and that her heart didn't "ache anymore". Her eyes smiled by the time we left.
Deep down though, I really struggled yesterday, seeing such suffering and wanting God to fix it all and make it better. There were no meds available to truly help with the intense pain and diarrhea that afflicted nearly each one of these women. There were flies and ants crawling on all of them. One woman died while we were there; another soul gone as a result of this tragic disease. I felt absolutely desperate. I felt discouraged. Who was I to talk about peace when I have never walked in their shoes or felt the agony that they are enduring. I began to really question God and I was almost angry at Him. Frustrated because I know he came to redeem us. Frustrated because I know with one word, healing can happen. Frustrated because maybe I was doing something wrong. And, mad at Satan because he seemed bigger than usual to me. Why didn't I see any notable change when I left? It killed me.
I prayed a lot last night. God really spoke to my heart and reminded me that I am not in charge of life or death. My faith cannot save the sick. I don't know what was blocking deliverance yesterday. I really don't. But, God reminded me that deliverance comes in different forms. Sometimes deliverance is death. God says we are foreigners on earth and this place is not our home. When a believer dies, what better place to be than in the very physical presence of Christ. I think this was my only solace yesterday.
But today, I was awoken to a miracle that had been in front of me all along, and Jason and I saw the mighty, healing hand of God change a life. Gertrude, the HIV/AIDs counselor is actually HIV positive herself. She told us her story yesterday and told us how her faith in God has never been shaken, nor has she ever shed a tear about this disease that travels through her blood. She is fit and strong. She is living life abundantly full and credits all that to God. She counsels others because she believes God has called her to this work because of her own experience with HIV. She has incredible faith and an incredible heart. She is 40 years old and is believing God that He will let her live to be 65. I believe God will. She has asked God to extend her life, only so that she can go on serving God and telling others about Him and counseling people about how to prevent the contraction of this disease. She is a miracle in action.
We followed Gertrude today at a local hospital. We listened in on her counseling sessions. We witnessed a woman receiving the results of her HIV test. Positive. Her world had changed. She had a small, sick girl with her who looked as if she had mumps. This little girl most likely is HIV positive as well. Her story is that of so many.
When Gertrude was finished, we all went up to the female ward to visit some patients. We were both pretty exhausted, especially Jason. I believe the physical exhaustion we felt was not physical and Satan was not going to win. He'd had his day yesterday and today was God's day. Once we walked in the ward, strength just welled up inside both of us, and we could both sense that something about today was going to be different. We visited the first patient, an elderly woman (uncommon in these parts as the average lifespan for a woman is 37), and she was delightful. She was in after suffering a diabetic coma and was well on her way to being released. She asked us to pray with her. We did and we were actually encouraged by her joy and her faith. We then visited another patient who was waiting for her ride home. It was hard to understand her, as she didn't speak English well, but we were able to communicate some. She was so small and frail and had eyes that were sad. I suspect she had AIDs and was suffering complications as a result. She was hungry and was waiting for her family to bring her food as the hospitals here do not supply food to the patients. There simply isn't money. We thankfully had an apple in our bag for her. I felt so silly that it was the only thing we had to offer her. She accepted with a huge smile and I could see that what I thought was a small, silly gift, meant the world to her. Next to her, was a young woman who was writhing in pain and crying. The doctors who had once surrounded her bed, had gone to lunch. She was left there in pain with no intervention. As Jason and I turned to her, my heart just ached for her suffering. God was speaking to my spirit and Jason's; we weren't to go hunt down a physician, we were to pray. I began speaking to her and questioning her about her pain. She had severe head and neck pain. Her eyes were very sensitive to light. I wonder if she had meningitis as that is very, very common here among the AIDS population. She cried out that her name was Martha and asked if we were from a church. She begged that we pray with her and ask God for help. Jason and I both felt the spirit of God come on us. I don't know how long we prayed or what we said, but I remember Mark 16:17 "...they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well." As we were praying and as I was holding her head, I felt torment leave her body and peace just wash over her. Her tears were gone, her pain was gone and she said, " I am free". She was so full of peace. She was smiling. God had done a miracle right before our eyes and delivered from torment, His very precious child. "So, if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed". John 8:36. God set this woman free and we were blessed to be a part of that!! I still can hardly believe it, yet why should it surprise me? Our God can do extraordinary things and miracles should be a part of our daily life. Nothing is impossible with God! I think it is so difficult for us humans to understand the miracles of God because they cannot be reasoned with the human logic or the human senses. God moves in the spiritual and manifests in the physical. Thank you, God!!!!! What a day!!!
Be encouraged by the God who does miracles! Be encouraged by the power of the Holy Spirit. Be encouraged by what the blood of Jesus accomplished on the cross. Be encouraged that "Everything is possible for one who believes" Mark 9:23.
The other day, Julie and her son Tekunda told the story of his birth. Temba and Julie had asked God specifically for a boy. They believed God had blessed them with a boy, even having no proof from an ultrasound. They bought all boy clothes and were preparing their home for the arrival of the son they knew without a doubt God was blessing them with. Apparently, Julie had extremely high blood pressure and was having some complications with her labor. Her usual doctor was out of town and another physician was assisting in her labor. She was not impressed with him at all as he was not taking the complications seriously. Tekunda was born. He was not able to cry. During the labor and delivery, he had not received enough oxygen to his brain. He was limp and lifeless. The doctors informed Temba and Julie that their son would either die or remain severely disabled all his life. They refused to except the doctor's report as they knew this blessing, this son was from God and Satan was trying to steal him away. They gathered and prayed that God would restore their son. He did. Fully. The doctors were amazed and speechless as the life before them was a miracle. Tekunda is now an adult. He is full of the life and love of God and has been given an amazing musical talent which he is using to serve God. Satan knew this boy had a calling on his life, but God knew too, and would not let the enemy win.
As I sit here, I struggle to even find words; to find words that capture the incredible reverence I have for my mighty God. There comes a time, when all that can be done is literally to bow, face down before God. The only words that come to mind seem so small. Thank you, God.
The last few days have been mind-numbing to say the least. So much has happened. Scenes of broken people flash through my mind and stories retell of both sadness and utter joy.
We went back to the AIDs nursing home yesterday. We met up with a local HIV/AIDS counselor, Gertrude. Jason spent time in the male ward. Gertrude and I spent time in the female ward. Six female patients were there. We visited each one. All but two were Christians. We were able to minister and pray with all of them. We got to know their stories and a little of their life. Each of them were 40 years old or younger with children left at home. Their faces demonstrated a shame of their disease and their eyes were looking for any glimpse of hope. Gertrude and I talked about God's power, His love and His compassion. The disease that tortured them was not from God and it broke His heart. We read scriptures with them that talked of God's heart of compassion and that no matter what they face, God is still with them and will not leave them. Their life is not over. Because they believe in Jesus Christ and have accepted Him as their Savior, the very Spirit of God lives in them. Because they have an eternal spirit, when they die, they will live on. We reminded them that they have been washed clean by the blood of Jesus and can never be snatched from His hand. They are safe in Him. One woman in particular said she really felt peace from that and that her heart didn't "ache anymore". Her eyes smiled by the time we left.
Deep down though, I really struggled yesterday, seeing such suffering and wanting God to fix it all and make it better. There were no meds available to truly help with the intense pain and diarrhea that afflicted nearly each one of these women. There were flies and ants crawling on all of them. One woman died while we were there; another soul gone as a result of this tragic disease. I felt absolutely desperate. I felt discouraged. Who was I to talk about peace when I have never walked in their shoes or felt the agony that they are enduring. I began to really question God and I was almost angry at Him. Frustrated because I know he came to redeem us. Frustrated because I know with one word, healing can happen. Frustrated because maybe I was doing something wrong. And, mad at Satan because he seemed bigger than usual to me. Why didn't I see any notable change when I left? It killed me.
I prayed a lot last night. God really spoke to my heart and reminded me that I am not in charge of life or death. My faith cannot save the sick. I don't know what was blocking deliverance yesterday. I really don't. But, God reminded me that deliverance comes in different forms. Sometimes deliverance is death. God says we are foreigners on earth and this place is not our home. When a believer dies, what better place to be than in the very physical presence of Christ. I think this was my only solace yesterday.
But today, I was awoken to a miracle that had been in front of me all along, and Jason and I saw the mighty, healing hand of God change a life. Gertrude, the HIV/AIDs counselor is actually HIV positive herself. She told us her story yesterday and told us how her faith in God has never been shaken, nor has she ever shed a tear about this disease that travels through her blood. She is fit and strong. She is living life abundantly full and credits all that to God. She counsels others because she believes God has called her to this work because of her own experience with HIV. She has incredible faith and an incredible heart. She is 40 years old and is believing God that He will let her live to be 65. I believe God will. She has asked God to extend her life, only so that she can go on serving God and telling others about Him and counseling people about how to prevent the contraction of this disease. She is a miracle in action.
We followed Gertrude today at a local hospital. We listened in on her counseling sessions. We witnessed a woman receiving the results of her HIV test. Positive. Her world had changed. She had a small, sick girl with her who looked as if she had mumps. This little girl most likely is HIV positive as well. Her story is that of so many.
When Gertrude was finished, we all went up to the female ward to visit some patients. We were both pretty exhausted, especially Jason. I believe the physical exhaustion we felt was not physical and Satan was not going to win. He'd had his day yesterday and today was God's day. Once we walked in the ward, strength just welled up inside both of us, and we could both sense that something about today was going to be different. We visited the first patient, an elderly woman (uncommon in these parts as the average lifespan for a woman is 37), and she was delightful. She was in after suffering a diabetic coma and was well on her way to being released. She asked us to pray with her. We did and we were actually encouraged by her joy and her faith. We then visited another patient who was waiting for her ride home. It was hard to understand her, as she didn't speak English well, but we were able to communicate some. She was so small and frail and had eyes that were sad. I suspect she had AIDs and was suffering complications as a result. She was hungry and was waiting for her family to bring her food as the hospitals here do not supply food to the patients. There simply isn't money. We thankfully had an apple in our bag for her. I felt so silly that it was the only thing we had to offer her. She accepted with a huge smile and I could see that what I thought was a small, silly gift, meant the world to her. Next to her, was a young woman who was writhing in pain and crying. The doctors who had once surrounded her bed, had gone to lunch. She was left there in pain with no intervention. As Jason and I turned to her, my heart just ached for her suffering. God was speaking to my spirit and Jason's; we weren't to go hunt down a physician, we were to pray. I began speaking to her and questioning her about her pain. She had severe head and neck pain. Her eyes were very sensitive to light. I wonder if she had meningitis as that is very, very common here among the AIDS population. She cried out that her name was Martha and asked if we were from a church. She begged that we pray with her and ask God for help. Jason and I both felt the spirit of God come on us. I don't know how long we prayed or what we said, but I remember Mark 16:17 "...they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well." As we were praying and as I was holding her head, I felt torment leave her body and peace just wash over her. Her tears were gone, her pain was gone and she said, " I am free". She was so full of peace. She was smiling. God had done a miracle right before our eyes and delivered from torment, His very precious child. "So, if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed". John 8:36. God set this woman free and we were blessed to be a part of that!! I still can hardly believe it, yet why should it surprise me? Our God can do extraordinary things and miracles should be a part of our daily life. Nothing is impossible with God! I think it is so difficult for us humans to understand the miracles of God because they cannot be reasoned with the human logic or the human senses. God moves in the spiritual and manifests in the physical. Thank you, God!!!!! What a day!!!
Be encouraged by the God who does miracles! Be encouraged by the power of the Holy Spirit. Be encouraged by what the blood of Jesus accomplished on the cross. Be encouraged that "Everything is possible for one who believes" Mark 9:23.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Rats, shopping centers and smoking headlights
Friday, Sep 26th,
Good news and an answer to prayer! A team of Dutch people raised enough money to purchase a vehicle for Temba and the ministry here! This is so huge and such a blessing!!! We hopefully will have the vehicle within the next 2 weeks!!
Oh, and as long as Temba's car is repaired, we are on our way to Botswana for food and money:) God is good!!!
Saturday, Sep. 27th
The following recorded events happened in complete actuality and were not in any way embellished.
The day was looking quite promising. It was Friday and as long as Temba's car could be repaired, we would be on our way to Botswana for food and money. He was up at 5:30 to pick up the mechanic to come back to the house to put the gear box back in his Sentra. When he got there, the mechanic's assistant was running late. After about 1/2 hour wait, the assistant showed up and they were headed to the shop to pick up tools. When they got there, it was locked. So, they waited again and after another 1/2 hour wait, they were able to get the tools and head back to to fix the vehicle. The only reason we were pressed for time was because Temba had to meet to police at 9am to get clearance to drive the vehicle. Well, at about 10:30, the car was done. Temba headed for the police station and prayerfully hoped that they would clear his car. He came back at noon. They didn't clear it for Botswana, only for Zimbabwe roads. This meant we basically could ride to the boarder, leave the car there and hitch a ride to Francistown, Botswana. Sounded like a good option as the only other alternative was to stay here and go hungry. On the road we went.
About 45 minutes into the trip, I happened to look over at Jason who was sitting next to me, and next to his right shoulder was a big, hairy rat who was making his way along the windowsill. I'm sure many of you can guess my reaction. So, Yes, I screamed. Multiple times. Apparently they were blood-curdling screams, but I think some people were over-exaggerating the expression of my emotions. Anyhow, this rat decided to continue journeying along the car's windowsill toward Temba's right shoulder. He and Julie were still trying to figure out what was going on and why I appeared to be in some terrible state of distress. Jason, as usual in these types of situations, remained completely calm. Anyway, now Temba looks over and realizes he has a 5th passenger and says, "oh my goodness", tries to grab the thing and chuck it out the window. He was sadly unsuccessful. Now, our new four-legged beast is making his way along the dashboard and heading for the left side of the car, which is where I am of course. I don't believe I was thinking clearly in my state of panic, however, what else would any wife do in this situation, but jump right into her husband's lap. I don't believe Jason really appreciated this especially since I was still screaming at this point. Well, the rat finished his venture by heading through a hole in the back of the car where the speaker had once been. We quickly covered what we hoped was his only route of escape. Everyone now was laughing, except me. I actually didn't find it funny until hours later.
We arrived at the border about 2:00, parked the car and stood in line for about an hour. Temba actually found a way to get us through the line more quickly--I'm still a little unsure how, but it was great! We got our passports stamped and I still think perhaps we were supposed to pay for entry visas. I have no idea. No one officially said we had to, so we were fine with not doing so.
Now, we just had to find a ride the rest of the way, since the car was parked on the other side of the boarder. There weren't any buses available and it is very common to just hitch a ride with someone. This is not common to me, but Jason and I knew it was our only option, so Julie, Temba, Jason and I hopped into the back of a covered pick-up truck. It was quite the ride, and the whole time I was thinking how crazy it was that we were actually doing this, and I never would even think of doing this back home. Only in Africa!
We arrived safely. Thank you God! Francistown is so different from Bulawayo. It is clean, booming with cars and people, and very well established. All the shops look full. People are dining out at rather nice restaurants. It was an amazing contrast from what we have become accustomed to over the last week. It was a welcome sight.
Temba quickly got in line for the ATM machine. The line was several store lengths long, and probably most of the people were from Zimbabwe. By the time Temba got up to the ATM machine, the guards were announcing there was no money left. No money! Jason and I just sat and prayed that somehow God would make a way. We had come all this way and had to get food and money because we had no money to eat there, stay in a lodge or drive back home. And, we had to get back to the border by 10PM before it closed. It was now 6. Well, the guards told Temba to go to another bank ATM. He did and his card would not work for some reason. Because time was running out, we all just prayed in faith that somehow, somewhere there would be an ATM with money. So, we decided to start our grocery shopping at a store called Pick and Pay. It was a breath of heaven. The shelves were full and there was so much to choose from. It took us about an hour and by the time we were finished, Temba had arrived with our money. He had gone back to the original ATM machine and the bank was loading it back up with money! God answered another prayer.
We loaded all our groceries in a cart and got a Taxi to take us to Temba's uncle's house. He had to pick up his bag of tools. We almost didn't go because time was running out. We then drove to the bus station and found the last bus going back to the border. We had to load all of the groceries on the trailer and just prayed none would be stolen. As we were driving back, Julie looked at me and informed me that they had forgotten to buy gas and oil for the car. The big concern was that literally there was not enough gas in the car to get home. There was no turning around and no way to purchase gas. Stations and few, most don't even have gas and even if they did, they are closed by now. Time to start praying again! Jason and I were literally laughing at this point because it just seemed natural that yet another thing would go wrong. We weren't too worried. God had gotten us this far and had answered so many prayers; I knew somehow He would come through again.
We arrived at the border and waited 2 hours in line. We were all pretty exhausted as it was about midnight now. We finally got through and in the process we met a man in line that we decided to take back with us as he needed a ride. The blessing was that he lived in Botswana and was able to claim all of our groceries as his, which meant that we did not have to pay import duty! Hurray for saving some money. When we got back to the car, we checked the oil level and there was certainly not enough to safely drive back. Julie went and asked some people in the parking lot if they had any oil that they purchased and if they would be willing to sell it to us. They did! As we were waiting for the oil, I heard something leaking out of the front of the car. Turns out, the waterhose had burst. Not to worry because the man we were taking back with us was a mechanic and we had tools with us because Temba had picked them up from his uncle's house. Perfect! They managed to fix the car and now the only problem was finding gas for the vehicle. We were about 110K from home and Temba was pretty positive there was not enough fuel to make it home. No one seemed to have fuel to sell us, so we all prayed that God would extend our fuel so we could make it home. We had no other choice but just to drive and pray we could make it. Just before heading out, Julie noticed that smoke was coming from the headlight switch. Temba unhooked the switch, which obviously shut off the headlights and there was no way we could drive back in the dark with no headlights. This story seriously seems unreal at this point. Anyhow, somehow, Temba managed to fix it and we prayed again that we could make it home with no more problems.
It was a long ride home, let me tell you. I was sandwiched in between Jason and our new friend. All of us had groceries on our lap and I had some underneath my feet. There was no room to move and it was hot! The air conditioning doesn't work and the windows don't roll down. Fun times!
But, we made it home by 3am. The fuel lasted all the way, we had no more car problems, and all was good. God is so, so good. He answered all of our prayers. Since being here, our confidence in God is growing so much. We literally take things minute by minute and pray our way through. God always makes a way. Always. He is fully aware of each of our needs and never gives us more than we can handle. In the midst of frustration, we can just feel His grace falling on us. This has been an amazing journey so far, and we've only been in Zim for a week:)
Well, never before did it take me 15 hours to get groceries. Never before did I have to depend on God in such a way. Never before did all of those events happen all in the same day. Oh my! Never again will I complain about shopping at Meijer. I think I'll rather welcome it:)
Good news and an answer to prayer! A team of Dutch people raised enough money to purchase a vehicle for Temba and the ministry here! This is so huge and such a blessing!!! We hopefully will have the vehicle within the next 2 weeks!!
Oh, and as long as Temba's car is repaired, we are on our way to Botswana for food and money:) God is good!!!
Saturday, Sep. 27th
The following recorded events happened in complete actuality and were not in any way embellished.
The day was looking quite promising. It was Friday and as long as Temba's car could be repaired, we would be on our way to Botswana for food and money. He was up at 5:30 to pick up the mechanic to come back to the house to put the gear box back in his Sentra. When he got there, the mechanic's assistant was running late. After about 1/2 hour wait, the assistant showed up and they were headed to the shop to pick up tools. When they got there, it was locked. So, they waited again and after another 1/2 hour wait, they were able to get the tools and head back to to fix the vehicle. The only reason we were pressed for time was because Temba had to meet to police at 9am to get clearance to drive the vehicle. Well, at about 10:30, the car was done. Temba headed for the police station and prayerfully hoped that they would clear his car. He came back at noon. They didn't clear it for Botswana, only for Zimbabwe roads. This meant we basically could ride to the boarder, leave the car there and hitch a ride to Francistown, Botswana. Sounded like a good option as the only other alternative was to stay here and go hungry. On the road we went.
About 45 minutes into the trip, I happened to look over at Jason who was sitting next to me, and next to his right shoulder was a big, hairy rat who was making his way along the windowsill. I'm sure many of you can guess my reaction. So, Yes, I screamed. Multiple times. Apparently they were blood-curdling screams, but I think some people were over-exaggerating the expression of my emotions. Anyhow, this rat decided to continue journeying along the car's windowsill toward Temba's right shoulder. He and Julie were still trying to figure out what was going on and why I appeared to be in some terrible state of distress. Jason, as usual in these types of situations, remained completely calm. Anyway, now Temba looks over and realizes he has a 5th passenger and says, "oh my goodness", tries to grab the thing and chuck it out the window. He was sadly unsuccessful. Now, our new four-legged beast is making his way along the dashboard and heading for the left side of the car, which is where I am of course. I don't believe I was thinking clearly in my state of panic, however, what else would any wife do in this situation, but jump right into her husband's lap. I don't believe Jason really appreciated this especially since I was still screaming at this point. Well, the rat finished his venture by heading through a hole in the back of the car where the speaker had once been. We quickly covered what we hoped was his only route of escape. Everyone now was laughing, except me. I actually didn't find it funny until hours later.
We arrived at the border about 2:00, parked the car and stood in line for about an hour. Temba actually found a way to get us through the line more quickly--I'm still a little unsure how, but it was great! We got our passports stamped and I still think perhaps we were supposed to pay for entry visas. I have no idea. No one officially said we had to, so we were fine with not doing so.
Now, we just had to find a ride the rest of the way, since the car was parked on the other side of the boarder. There weren't any buses available and it is very common to just hitch a ride with someone. This is not common to me, but Jason and I knew it was our only option, so Julie, Temba, Jason and I hopped into the back of a covered pick-up truck. It was quite the ride, and the whole time I was thinking how crazy it was that we were actually doing this, and I never would even think of doing this back home. Only in Africa!
We arrived safely. Thank you God! Francistown is so different from Bulawayo. It is clean, booming with cars and people, and very well established. All the shops look full. People are dining out at rather nice restaurants. It was an amazing contrast from what we have become accustomed to over the last week. It was a welcome sight.
Temba quickly got in line for the ATM machine. The line was several store lengths long, and probably most of the people were from Zimbabwe. By the time Temba got up to the ATM machine, the guards were announcing there was no money left. No money! Jason and I just sat and prayed that somehow God would make a way. We had come all this way and had to get food and money because we had no money to eat there, stay in a lodge or drive back home. And, we had to get back to the border by 10PM before it closed. It was now 6. Well, the guards told Temba to go to another bank ATM. He did and his card would not work for some reason. Because time was running out, we all just prayed in faith that somehow, somewhere there would be an ATM with money. So, we decided to start our grocery shopping at a store called Pick and Pay. It was a breath of heaven. The shelves were full and there was so much to choose from. It took us about an hour and by the time we were finished, Temba had arrived with our money. He had gone back to the original ATM machine and the bank was loading it back up with money! God answered another prayer.
We loaded all our groceries in a cart and got a Taxi to take us to Temba's uncle's house. He had to pick up his bag of tools. We almost didn't go because time was running out. We then drove to the bus station and found the last bus going back to the border. We had to load all of the groceries on the trailer and just prayed none would be stolen. As we were driving back, Julie looked at me and informed me that they had forgotten to buy gas and oil for the car. The big concern was that literally there was not enough gas in the car to get home. There was no turning around and no way to purchase gas. Stations and few, most don't even have gas and even if they did, they are closed by now. Time to start praying again! Jason and I were literally laughing at this point because it just seemed natural that yet another thing would go wrong. We weren't too worried. God had gotten us this far and had answered so many prayers; I knew somehow He would come through again.
We arrived at the border and waited 2 hours in line. We were all pretty exhausted as it was about midnight now. We finally got through and in the process we met a man in line that we decided to take back with us as he needed a ride. The blessing was that he lived in Botswana and was able to claim all of our groceries as his, which meant that we did not have to pay import duty! Hurray for saving some money. When we got back to the car, we checked the oil level and there was certainly not enough to safely drive back. Julie went and asked some people in the parking lot if they had any oil that they purchased and if they would be willing to sell it to us. They did! As we were waiting for the oil, I heard something leaking out of the front of the car. Turns out, the waterhose had burst. Not to worry because the man we were taking back with us was a mechanic and we had tools with us because Temba had picked them up from his uncle's house. Perfect! They managed to fix the car and now the only problem was finding gas for the vehicle. We were about 110K from home and Temba was pretty positive there was not enough fuel to make it home. No one seemed to have fuel to sell us, so we all prayed that God would extend our fuel so we could make it home. We had no other choice but just to drive and pray we could make it. Just before heading out, Julie noticed that smoke was coming from the headlight switch. Temba unhooked the switch, which obviously shut off the headlights and there was no way we could drive back in the dark with no headlights. This story seriously seems unreal at this point. Anyhow, somehow, Temba managed to fix it and we prayed again that we could make it home with no more problems.
It was a long ride home, let me tell you. I was sandwiched in between Jason and our new friend. All of us had groceries on our lap and I had some underneath my feet. There was no room to move and it was hot! The air conditioning doesn't work and the windows don't roll down. Fun times!
But, we made it home by 3am. The fuel lasted all the way, we had no more car problems, and all was good. God is so, so good. He answered all of our prayers. Since being here, our confidence in God is growing so much. We literally take things minute by minute and pray our way through. God always makes a way. Always. He is fully aware of each of our needs and never gives us more than we can handle. In the midst of frustration, we can just feel His grace falling on us. This has been an amazing journey so far, and we've only been in Zim for a week:)
Well, never before did it take me 15 hours to get groceries. Never before did I have to depend on God in such a way. Never before did all of those events happen all in the same day. Oh my! Never again will I complain about shopping at Meijer. I think I'll rather welcome it:)
Friday, September 26, 2008
Just a bit of news
Monday, September 22nd
Today, my heart is just heavy, just sad and overwhelmed with all that is going on around me. We awoke with no power and Jason made a fire outside so we could cook breakfast---took 2 hours as the wind was blowing so badly. The porridge was fantastic and filling:) Can't thank God enough for it:) But, that's not why I was sad--if it was, I'd better get a grip, eh;)
I walked around the house after breakfast and just felt like if I let myself go, I would just cry--cry in that weeping from the depths of your soul, kind of cry. Looking around and thinking about the people here, especially our guard, Israel, I was thinking about the strange thing life itself is. In only 2 months, I have a plane ticket home--a ticket to wealth, ease, food around every corner and opportunities ready to greet eager souls. There is absolutely no room for complaining in my life, no reason not to wake up each day and praise my God for all that He has blessed me with and is doing in my life. I realized today just how terribly unthankful I am; not because I purpose myself that way, but because I don't thank God enough, don't praise Him enough and acknowledge the fact that everything I have--absolutely everything is a gift from Him; a gift He did not have to give me. But, He did; He gave; He poured out and He is amazing.
So, while I can leave the difficulties and struggles of life here, 99% of these people never will, ever. And coming to America is not the answer. I really don't know what is except the saving grace of God. These people will continue to struggle to make ends meet, to eat each day and to find work in an economy that doesn't promise that much will be available. I think of Israel our guard. We give him meals each day to eat on top of the meals he cooks for himself--he may not have that after we leave until the next group comes along. He will continue to work, to eat the bare minimum each day. But, he is content, he is happy and he is hopeful. He knows God provides. One thing I need to let go of is that I am not here to save everyone. I am not the one who provides for them. I am not God and who am I to think I can do a better job than He can. Shame on myself. However, all of us have a responsibility and not to act on that is truly sin. "Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act. Do not say to your neighbor, 'come back tomorrow and I'll give it to you'- when you already have it with you." Proverbs 3:27-28. "Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for one another. If any one of you has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in you? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth." 1 John 3:16-18. Powerful and humbling truth.
Anyhow, onto the rest of our day. Temba picked us up around 11. His car is being worked on. He was late in picking us up, because he had to wait for the mechanic to come to fix his car, and the mechanic had to wait for his own ride. But Temba made it--smiling and happy as usual, not seeming to be affected by the day's frustrations. His truck is in sad, sad shape. Its either late 1950's, early 60's truck. He has it hotwired to get it going. The doors are falling apart and I can see the road underneath us when we drive. Smoke comes into the cab, so the door has to be partially open to let the smoke out--the windows don't roll down--esh! Jason and I prayed the whole time for God to keep us safe. He did. He always comes through:) We ran many errands with Temba--he had a lot of meetings and such. It was good to see a bit more of Bulawayo. All the banks had people lined up for a block or two--just to get their money for the day. Sad. We caught a bus to the Thembelihle house which is a nursing home for AIDS patients. It is operated by Gladys; a lively woman with quite the personality and quite the heart. Both Jason and I fell in love with her immediately. Right now the home is not working to full capacity because of lack of funds and staffing. They are currently housing about 15 patients. As Gladys was talking, I did everything to hold back tears. I could feel my heart beating out of my chest. I felt desperate to help--in any way I could. She explained that people are placed at the house after discharge from the hospital. They cannot go home as they are too ill. Most of them have TB and are on treatment for it, so they are not infectious to others. They have chronic opportunistic infections, diarrhea, nausea, thrush all the way through their G.I. tracks and they are emaciated. Reminds me a little of my patients back home minus the T. B. Many of them have cancers, such as Kaposi's sarcoma or lung cancers. Basic supplies are few. Common meds, antibiotics, antidiarrheals, antifungals, antinausea meds and pain meds are not available. I asked about donating funds--great idea, but the needed items simply are not available here. So they make do with what they have and commit their work to God, praying and trusting He will provide. We met many of the patients. Most of them are under 30 years old. Most of them won't live another year. Each person we met, my heart broke all over again; broken for their suffering and their pain. Their eyes had a story to tell and I want to know each of theirs. I was overwhelmed. Jason was overwhelmed. Where do we start? How do we get supplies to these people? The mountain is big. But, my God moves mountains. I have seen it and I believe it. I found my work and I cannot wait to start. Hopefully Thursay we can go back. We need to wait for a vehicle. We would bike but it's a good 20-30 miles one-way and taking supplies we do have is difficult. Please pray. I can't stand waiting to work. I want to help. I want to share the good news of our God. I want to pray for their healing. God doesn't need supplies or meds to heal. He is a God that moves mountains. I am trusting He will.
Wednesday, Sep. 24th.
Today and yesterday are rather strange days. Either Satan is working hard to keep us from working or God is forcing fasting and rest upon us:) In either case, we are here and we know God has us here. We keep praying for Him to open up the way to ministry, despite the obstacles. Temba's vehicle is still being repaired, so we haven't had transportation for ministry or our trip to Botswana for food.
We stayed at the house and worked. Jason and I hand-washed our laundry, cleaned a bit, and sorted through some donated items from a huge container that came in July. We were able to organize some of it, which will be so helpful for just knowing where things are. I also worked on a list for future teams and volunteers.
Our blessing yesterday was electricity available all day!!! I was so, so excited. God is amazing! He not only knows the depths of our hearts, but He knows the little things that mean the world to us. I was just thinking of how much I miss music. Funny how I don't realize the love I have for certain things until I no longer have them. Looking through the boxes, we found a radio that had been donated for the office and Israel happened to find a Wow Worship 2001 CD. It made my day!! And thanks to Jen Willoughby, we enjoyed a few bites of yummy chocolate!! Thank you, Jen. You are my hero!! We were also able to cook our meal before the electricity went out again! Just in time:) It gets dark at 6 here, so not a lot to do in the evenings and it is not safe to go out. Thanks again to Jen, Jason and I played a game of Phase 10 by candlelight:)
Many people have asked in e-mails what we are eating and I haven't been able to write anyone back, so I'll post it here:) We don't have a lot of food right now, until our trip, but we have enough and are eating just fine:) In the morning, we have a maize porridge. Jason normalling doesn't touch this sort of thing, but hunger does strange things to you:) Its pretty good and pretty filling. We also have been able to have coffee!!!! Such a blessing:) We don't snack at all and somedays we haven't had lunch, but if we do, it is either left-overs from the night before or a grilled cheese sandwich:) Yum!!! For dinners, I have been making some interesting dishes, to say the least:) One night, it was pasta, canned beans, cabbage and grean beans all mixed together. I have also made rice, carrots, cabbage, onions and cut-up chicken hotdogs all mixed together. Yep, crazy combos, but it is all that is available and it tastes pretty good. The only "safe" meat here, was a package of the chicken hotdogs, so we have cut them up and used them in several meals. Oh, I also have been able to get a few tomatoes and a few oranges. We have been fortunate enough to be able to cook and boil everything, just to be on the safe side. It is all good:) Just a sidenote, a common snack by people here are Mopani worms. Yep, you read it correctly. Worms. And, no, I will not be sampling these.
Anyhow, enough for today. By the time I post this, several days will have gone by. Sorry if it's like reading an old newspaper:) I'm glad though, that at least I can write it all on a Wordpad and then transfer it to the blog when we are able to use the internet:)
Blessings to you all!!!
Ann asked me to write something from my perspective, but honestly I'm struggling to find words to describe everything that I have seen and experienced so far. Suffice it to say that this is not the Zimbabwe that my parents told me about. I was five when we left here, so I have few memories of it. When I look at the buildings - some might even be as high as 30 or 40 floors, almost skyscrapers - I try to imagine it as it would have looked when the city was prosperous.
I'm deeply struck by the severity of the situation here. It's one thing to read about it, but quite another to actually live it. It is both peculiar and disturbing to walk through stores that have nothing on the shelves besides a few loaves of bread and other basic items. Gas stations are deserted and only a few actually sell gas anymore. It doesn't matter if you have money in the bank, nothing is available. And the little that you can find is very expensive. We bought a few things to tide us over this week and it cost about $65 US. Can you imagine having to drive to Canada to buy food? That's the reality that Zimbabweans are living with. Most must travel to Botswana to buy food, if they can afford to. The rest rely on a cornmeal staple called Sadsa - ugali or pap - and beans or cabbage to keep body and soul together.
This post wasn't meant to be about food, but I think it is one of the greatest obstacles people are facing at the moment. However, there is a remarkable tenacity and vitality in the people here. People smile and speak positively about the country and their futures as they go about their business. Somehow they survive. Somehow they thrive. It is as Temba, our ever optimistic host, says, Zimbabweans are living 'miracle lives'. I am reminded of how much God provides for us everyday. In the US and 'developed nations' we have built systems that support us financially, economically to provide food from around the country and the world. It is easy to become complacent and begin to trust in the systems for our 'daily bread', rather than God himself. My experience here has served to remind me just how tenuous our systems are. When they collapse, fracture or fail we are left in the dark, hungry and alone. Let us rather place our trust in the one who has promised us 'living water' and the 'bread of life', that we may not hunger or thirst again.
And yes Mom, we're eating enough and we're doing fine.
Grace and peace to you all – cheers
Thursday, Sep 25th,
Today, this post is more of a prayer request than anything. First off, God is good, no matter what and no matter the circumstances that arise. He provides everything we need, just when we need it. “No good thing will he withhold from those that walk in Him”. (Can’t remember where that’s found—you’d think when I memorized verses, I would remember the reference
Ok, here goes:
Temba’s vehicle is still being repaired and if it is not finished by tomorrow, our trip to Botswana will not happen until the end of next week because, Temba and his family are going to South Africa for the week as his son graduates.
We can’t rent a car, take a bus, etc, because we don’t have cash—that’s in Botswana too (The reason it is there is because you can’t get any money in the banks here—only $1000 a day, which barely buys a loaf of bread). Anyhow, the money we do have is being spent to get to and from the car repair shop and buy air time to make local calls. And, no, places do not accept credit cards here. We haven’t been able to do outside ministry for 3 days because of this transportation obstacle. Anyhow, we are running very low on food and it will get interesting on how we will eat if we can’t go to Botswana. I am trusting God will be faithful. He has been faithful each day and I cannot doubt that He will be faithful tomorrow. We are learning to trust God daily in ways we haven’t been tested before. This is surely an adventure. God is good
God is teaching me incredible things through this, both in trust and in humility. I will write more on that later.
We appreciate your prayers. Love you all
Today, my heart is just heavy, just sad and overwhelmed with all that is going on around me. We awoke with no power and Jason made a fire outside so we could cook breakfast---took 2 hours as the wind was blowing so badly. The porridge was fantastic and filling:) Can't thank God enough for it:) But, that's not why I was sad--if it was, I'd better get a grip, eh;)
I walked around the house after breakfast and just felt like if I let myself go, I would just cry--cry in that weeping from the depths of your soul, kind of cry. Looking around and thinking about the people here, especially our guard, Israel, I was thinking about the strange thing life itself is. In only 2 months, I have a plane ticket home--a ticket to wealth, ease, food around every corner and opportunities ready to greet eager souls. There is absolutely no room for complaining in my life, no reason not to wake up each day and praise my God for all that He has blessed me with and is doing in my life. I realized today just how terribly unthankful I am; not because I purpose myself that way, but because I don't thank God enough, don't praise Him enough and acknowledge the fact that everything I have--absolutely everything is a gift from Him; a gift He did not have to give me. But, He did; He gave; He poured out and He is amazing.
So, while I can leave the difficulties and struggles of life here, 99% of these people never will, ever. And coming to America is not the answer. I really don't know what is except the saving grace of God. These people will continue to struggle to make ends meet, to eat each day and to find work in an economy that doesn't promise that much will be available. I think of Israel our guard. We give him meals each day to eat on top of the meals he cooks for himself--he may not have that after we leave until the next group comes along. He will continue to work, to eat the bare minimum each day. But, he is content, he is happy and he is hopeful. He knows God provides. One thing I need to let go of is that I am not here to save everyone. I am not the one who provides for them. I am not God and who am I to think I can do a better job than He can. Shame on myself. However, all of us have a responsibility and not to act on that is truly sin. "Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act. Do not say to your neighbor, 'come back tomorrow and I'll give it to you'- when you already have it with you." Proverbs 3:27-28. "Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for one another. If any one of you has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in you? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth." 1 John 3:16-18. Powerful and humbling truth.
Anyhow, onto the rest of our day. Temba picked us up around 11. His car is being worked on. He was late in picking us up, because he had to wait for the mechanic to come to fix his car, and the mechanic had to wait for his own ride. But Temba made it--smiling and happy as usual, not seeming to be affected by the day's frustrations. His truck is in sad, sad shape. Its either late 1950's, early 60's truck. He has it hotwired to get it going. The doors are falling apart and I can see the road underneath us when we drive. Smoke comes into the cab, so the door has to be partially open to let the smoke out--the windows don't roll down--esh! Jason and I prayed the whole time for God to keep us safe. He did. He always comes through:) We ran many errands with Temba--he had a lot of meetings and such. It was good to see a bit more of Bulawayo. All the banks had people lined up for a block or two--just to get their money for the day. Sad. We caught a bus to the Thembelihle house which is a nursing home for AIDS patients. It is operated by Gladys; a lively woman with quite the personality and quite the heart. Both Jason and I fell in love with her immediately. Right now the home is not working to full capacity because of lack of funds and staffing. They are currently housing about 15 patients. As Gladys was talking, I did everything to hold back tears. I could feel my heart beating out of my chest. I felt desperate to help--in any way I could. She explained that people are placed at the house after discharge from the hospital. They cannot go home as they are too ill. Most of them have TB and are on treatment for it, so they are not infectious to others. They have chronic opportunistic infections, diarrhea, nausea, thrush all the way through their G.I. tracks and they are emaciated. Reminds me a little of my patients back home minus the T. B. Many of them have cancers, such as Kaposi's sarcoma or lung cancers. Basic supplies are few. Common meds, antibiotics, antidiarrheals, antifungals, antinausea meds and pain meds are not available. I asked about donating funds--great idea, but the needed items simply are not available here. So they make do with what they have and commit their work to God, praying and trusting He will provide. We met many of the patients. Most of them are under 30 years old. Most of them won't live another year. Each person we met, my heart broke all over again; broken for their suffering and their pain. Their eyes had a story to tell and I want to know each of theirs. I was overwhelmed. Jason was overwhelmed. Where do we start? How do we get supplies to these people? The mountain is big. But, my God moves mountains. I have seen it and I believe it. I found my work and I cannot wait to start. Hopefully Thursay we can go back. We need to wait for a vehicle. We would bike but it's a good 20-30 miles one-way and taking supplies we do have is difficult. Please pray. I can't stand waiting to work. I want to help. I want to share the good news of our God. I want to pray for their healing. God doesn't need supplies or meds to heal. He is a God that moves mountains. I am trusting He will.
Wednesday, Sep. 24th.
Today and yesterday are rather strange days. Either Satan is working hard to keep us from working or God is forcing fasting and rest upon us:) In either case, we are here and we know God has us here. We keep praying for Him to open up the way to ministry, despite the obstacles. Temba's vehicle is still being repaired, so we haven't had transportation for ministry or our trip to Botswana for food.
We stayed at the house and worked. Jason and I hand-washed our laundry, cleaned a bit, and sorted through some donated items from a huge container that came in July. We were able to organize some of it, which will be so helpful for just knowing where things are. I also worked on a list for future teams and volunteers.
Our blessing yesterday was electricity available all day!!! I was so, so excited. God is amazing! He not only knows the depths of our hearts, but He knows the little things that mean the world to us. I was just thinking of how much I miss music. Funny how I don't realize the love I have for certain things until I no longer have them. Looking through the boxes, we found a radio that had been donated for the office and Israel happened to find a Wow Worship 2001 CD. It made my day!! And thanks to Jen Willoughby, we enjoyed a few bites of yummy chocolate!! Thank you, Jen. You are my hero!! We were also able to cook our meal before the electricity went out again! Just in time:) It gets dark at 6 here, so not a lot to do in the evenings and it is not safe to go out. Thanks again to Jen, Jason and I played a game of Phase 10 by candlelight:)
Many people have asked in e-mails what we are eating and I haven't been able to write anyone back, so I'll post it here:) We don't have a lot of food right now, until our trip, but we have enough and are eating just fine:) In the morning, we have a maize porridge. Jason normalling doesn't touch this sort of thing, but hunger does strange things to you:) Its pretty good and pretty filling. We also have been able to have coffee!!!! Such a blessing:) We don't snack at all and somedays we haven't had lunch, but if we do, it is either left-overs from the night before or a grilled cheese sandwich:) Yum!!! For dinners, I have been making some interesting dishes, to say the least:) One night, it was pasta, canned beans, cabbage and grean beans all mixed together. I have also made rice, carrots, cabbage, onions and cut-up chicken hotdogs all mixed together. Yep, crazy combos, but it is all that is available and it tastes pretty good. The only "safe" meat here, was a package of the chicken hotdogs, so we have cut them up and used them in several meals. Oh, I also have been able to get a few tomatoes and a few oranges. We have been fortunate enough to be able to cook and boil everything, just to be on the safe side. It is all good:) Just a sidenote, a common snack by people here are Mopani worms. Yep, you read it correctly. Worms. And, no, I will not be sampling these.
Anyhow, enough for today. By the time I post this, several days will have gone by. Sorry if it's like reading an old newspaper:) I'm glad though, that at least I can write it all on a Wordpad and then transfer it to the blog when we are able to use the internet:)
Blessings to you all!!!
Ann asked me to write something from my perspective, but honestly I'm struggling to find words to describe everything that I have seen and experienced so far. Suffice it to say that this is not the Zimbabwe that my parents told me about. I was five when we left here, so I have few memories of it. When I look at the buildings - some might even be as high as 30 or 40 floors, almost skyscrapers - I try to imagine it as it would have looked when the city was prosperous.
I'm deeply struck by the severity of the situation here. It's one thing to read about it, but quite another to actually live it. It is both peculiar and disturbing to walk through stores that have nothing on the shelves besides a few loaves of bread and other basic items. Gas stations are deserted and only a few actually sell gas anymore. It doesn't matter if you have money in the bank, nothing is available. And the little that you can find is very expensive. We bought a few things to tide us over this week and it cost about $65 US. Can you imagine having to drive to Canada to buy food? That's the reality that Zimbabweans are living with. Most must travel to Botswana to buy food, if they can afford to. The rest rely on a cornmeal staple called Sadsa - ugali or pap - and beans or cabbage to keep body and soul together.
This post wasn't meant to be about food, but I think it is one of the greatest obstacles people are facing at the moment. However, there is a remarkable tenacity and vitality in the people here. People smile and speak positively about the country and their futures as they go about their business. Somehow they survive. Somehow they thrive. It is as Temba, our ever optimistic host, says, Zimbabweans are living 'miracle lives'. I am reminded of how much God provides for us everyday. In the US and 'developed nations' we have built systems that support us financially, economically to provide food from around the country and the world. It is easy to become complacent and begin to trust in the systems for our 'daily bread', rather than God himself. My experience here has served to remind me just how tenuous our systems are. When they collapse, fracture or fail we are left in the dark, hungry and alone. Let us rather place our trust in the one who has promised us 'living water' and the 'bread of life', that we may not hunger or thirst again.
And yes Mom, we're eating enough and we're doing fine.
Grace and peace to you all – cheers
Thursday, Sep 25th,
Today, this post is more of a prayer request than anything. First off, God is good, no matter what and no matter the circumstances that arise. He provides everything we need, just when we need it. “No good thing will he withhold from those that walk in Him”. (Can’t remember where that’s found—you’d think when I memorized verses, I would remember the reference
Ok, here goes:
Temba’s vehicle is still being repaired and if it is not finished by tomorrow, our trip to Botswana will not happen until the end of next week because, Temba and his family are going to South Africa for the week as his son graduates.
We can’t rent a car, take a bus, etc, because we don’t have cash—that’s in Botswana too (The reason it is there is because you can’t get any money in the banks here—only $1000 a day, which barely buys a loaf of bread). Anyhow, the money we do have is being spent to get to and from the car repair shop and buy air time to make local calls. And, no, places do not accept credit cards here. We haven’t been able to do outside ministry for 3 days because of this transportation obstacle. Anyhow, we are running very low on food and it will get interesting on how we will eat if we can’t go to Botswana. I am trusting God will be faithful. He has been faithful each day and I cannot doubt that He will be faithful tomorrow. We are learning to trust God daily in ways we haven’t been tested before. This is surely an adventure. God is good
God is teaching me incredible things through this, both in trust and in humility. I will write more on that later.
We appreciate your prayers. Love you all
Monday, September 22, 2008
two posts in one:)
Home Sweet Home:)
We are in Bulawayo, Zimbabwe. We arrived on the 18th after a bit of a stressful flight--like we almost missed it--lines of people in the Johannesburg airport, unexpected baggage fees and running like madpeople through the airport to the gate--but we made it, all in one piece. And, our luggage made it as well--praise God!!!!
Wow, there is so much to write, I hardly know where to start, really. We unfortunately have not been able to e-mail very much or write on this blog. The internet was not very accessible in both Johannesburg and Pietermaritzburg, and the difficulty here has been lack of electricity at times and good, old fashioned dial-up:)
Anyhow, our time in both Johannesburg and Pietermaritzburg was awesome. It was so nice to spend time with family and friends, see a bit of Africa and rest:) I loved meeting the rest of the Hadfield clan and all the old neighbors. It was great to see Jason's old house and neighborhood, eat some good African food, and drink many cups of tea:) The best!
The landscape is breathtaking in Durban and Pietermaritzburg. It is lush, green, hilly, warm with
beautiful trees and flowers. Pictures cannot even capture the beauty here. The sunrises and sunsets take my breath away. Experiencing the beauty here reminds me that our Creator is such a God of wonder and beauty and that He created so many things for us to enjoy. Earth is painted with God's splendor and something deep within my soul wants to get on my knees and thank our God for beauty itself.
We have been richly blessed so far, in ways I never anticipated blessing to come. Each person we have stayed with has been so generous, so warm, so welcoming, so encouraging. They have truly welcomed us and made us feel at home. They have instantly touched our hearts and have become like family. I found myself wanting to cry when we left Jason's family, his neighbors that we visited and his good friend Stephen. I think the reason it has been so diffiult is because the time with them has been so short and deep down I pray our paths will cross again--only God knows.
Being here has made me all too aware and contemplative of time. It seems most of us verbalize our concern for time --all of the time. For instance, "we don't have enough time", "we need to save time", "we cannot waste time", "we need to make the most of time" etc. I think deep in the heart of every person, we fight against time. Moments we treasure pass far too quickly and those moments we love, we wish we could pause. I truly believe we are uncomfortable with time, because we were not created for it. We are eternal beings bound and limited by time. We despise the restrictions of time because it is against our very nature. Time is the span of a moment and I cannot think of a more beautiful thing than the absence of time as we understand it and the concept of eternity becoming a reality. So, enjoy the dislike of time--after all, we were meant for eternity. Ecc 3:11 "He has made everything beautiful in His time, He also set eternity in the hearts of men, yet they cannot fathom what God has done from the beginning to end".
On to other things:) I actually cannot believe we are here, in Zimbabwe. The day we arrived was an overwhelming one to say the least. After getting off the plane and making it through customs without any hassles, we were greeted with the bright and smiling eyes of our enthusiastic host, Temba. The joy this man carries humbles me to tears. Life here is everything but convenient, yet he is not bothered by it and carries a thankful spirit for every blessing.
We traveled to his home in his very old and broken down vehicle--but we made it--slowly:) I'm sure it was quite the humorous scene: four people piled in a tiny car, with 4 large suitcases hanging out of the trunk and one on both Jason and my lap, sweat pouring down our faces the look of "oh my, what have we gotten ourselves into" on our face as well. :) As we were driving there, I was struck at how very different Bulawayo is from any other city I have been to in Africa. It is strangely eerie, in a way. The roads are nearly barren as far as vehicles go. Gas prices are extremely high and most people have sold their cars because gas is either too expensive or simply not available. Kenyan, and South African streets are bustling with cars and people to the point it can be difficult to get around. Here it is quiet and still. Homes are lovely, but marred by Zimbabwe's crumbling economy. Gardens that once flourished are overgrown with weeds and thorns. Swimming pools once the center of good family times, are dry. Security fences surround homes to protect people from theft as others are desperate for food and money. This city is not like the undeveloped parts of Africa--it is/was a fully developed city that now exists with a broken soul; an empty, abandoned hollow soul. Eerie. There is also a sadness in people's eyes, yet smiles display the optomistic outlook they have for their country.
We have been able to spend quite a bit of time with Temba and his family. His wife, Julie is fantastic. They have been beyond helpful in getting our little home-away-from home set up and functional. They are warm and beautiful people, who praise God for the simple things in life--things I take for granted every day in the U. S. For example, the electricity goes out every day for up to 10 hours. Life is planned around when power is available. Also, water cuts occur quite often for most places in Bulawayo; limiting many homes to only 2-3 hours of water every 4 days. Thankfully, we have not had any water cuts yet, only electric cuts. Water shortages are massive for several reasons. The electric companies cut power to water companies, which then means water cannot be properly treated and available for people. Water is shut off simply to save it because of the drought. There have been times when the water companies have allowed water to homes untreated leading to a situation where people contract water-borne illnesses. No worries, we boil and cook everything!!:) The trick is being available to do that when the power is available:) Life is interesting, let me tell you. We have started many campfires already, just for cooking:)
Then, wow, the food shortages are crazy. Most stores, except for maybe 2 or three are empty, absolutely empty. The ones that are available are so expensive, even the middle class can hardly afford it, let alone the poor. For example, a loaf of bread cost anywhere from $1000-$1500 Zim dollars. The bank will only give people $1000 a day, even if you have way more in your account. So, to drive to the bank, then the store costs about $300 one-way--then you obviously have to get back, which is another $300-so what's left, $400--not even enough for a loaf of bread--can you even imagine--I think I sat with my jaw dropped for half a day. Most people have to cross the boarder for food--which is what we will be doing.
Despite all of these things, what amazes me the most is the strength, joy and resiliance that people carry here. They do not live at the mercy of their circumstances, but fully trust that God will provide for them. The Christians here are witnesses to God's almighty hand and His faithful care of them. Their needs are met. They eat each day and somehow they get where they need to go. They live life one day at a time, trusting that the God who has been faithful today, will be faithful tomorrow. Each day is a blessing. God meets their needs--all of them--I don't know how, but the way of God is impossible for the human mind to understand. I am glad for that. If I could understand how God works, then He would only be as big as my mind--not too big:)
Since being here, I have been touched by 2 people. Honestly, when I am in their presence, my heart wants to burst. It is hard to explain. Something in me moves, deep in my soul, to the point of wanting to give up everything I have to make even one day better for them. Nothing about their life is especially abnormal or remotely different from any other person here. Maybe its that, the mere existence of a beautiful soul who will live here and die here. Nothing special about their life, nothing extraordinary, just life. But, they keep on going, keep on loving, keep on living and keep on hoping. Beautiful.
The first person, is our guard, Israel: a sweet, kind, tender-hearted man. He is in his 30's, I'm guessing. He works hard at our house, cleaning, tending his garden, making us as comfortable and as we can be; making us feel at home. He goes out of his way to make sure we are served well. He doesn't ask anything of us or anyone. He just lives his life and does his job quietly, behind the scenes. He is paid with food, a room and a few small belongings. He eats 2 times a day. His diet: cabbage and a maize porridge. That is it. Day after day. When I think about my life at home, my heart is heavy and sad, not because I live like this, but because I don't. I eat wealthy compared to most of the world. I can easily spend 3 or 4 dollars on coffee or icecream whenever I want and buy it also for those I love. Why me and not him? Why? I am beyond thankful that God has blessed me and filled my life so full of luxuries and has allowed me to afford so many wonderful things. But still, I wonder why me and not him? I can only reconcile that I have been blessed to be a blessing, and to share what I have with others. I cannot hold onto things tightly as if they are mine. They are only mine to share. I am humbled, thoughtful and tearful.
The second person is a housemaid that helps Temba and his family. Sadly I don't even know her name. She is sweet and polite, but there is a deep sadness in her eyes that reveal a heart that is heavy and broken. She just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl only 3 days ago. This child does not have a name yet. She stayed in the hospital only one day. She had to bring her own IV equipment, food and any supplies she would need for after birthing. If she didn't bring them, nothing would be available for her. She was back to work only 2 days after giving birth. She must work or she will not eat and therefore her baby will not be nourished. Nothing is said of the father. He is absent as many dads are. Can you even imagine being in her shoes? Can you imagine her pain? Can you imagine sleeping at night with the huge task of raising a child alone? Can you imagine? I hardly want my mind to travel there because I know I will just break down; break down because it is just not right. This is not the way of God. This was never His intent. Mankind has just made a mess of things.
I guess I realize this has been a rather sober post. There is just so much to tell, so much sadness. But there is hope here as well. I hold onto that. God has blessed both Jason and I with abundant peace and a resolve we didn't even know existed within us. The peace of God does surpass all understanding. The strength of God proves faithful when there are limitations all around. God is good. This is good. Being here is a blessing beyond words and quite honestly, I cannot imagine being anywhere else right now. Despite the circumstances and the tragedy, hope exists and God's mercy and grace are fully available and fully present. In fact, grace is abundant--just when it is needed. Praise God!!!!
Here are a few prayer requests:
Continued safety: crime is here. When people are hungry, they will do anything to feed themselves and their families.
Health: So far, so good. Praise God!!! Just continue to pray that our stomachs agree with the food and water.
Transportation: Pray for God's provision for a car for Temba. Please pray! He desperately needs one. In order to visit patients, and do this ministry, he needs a reliable vehicle. His car does not start--we have to push it into 2nd gear to get it going. It is falling apart. It doesn't go over 35 MPH. Some type of fumes flow through the car as well. We will be traveling to Botswana to buy food in this car. Pray for God's protection and provision. I am confident God will provide. We have been here for 4 days, and we have gotten where we need to go--each time. God is good!!!!!
Bye for now---love and miss you all!!!!
Little Miss Sunshine: the African Version
Today (Sunday) was interesting to say the least:) We went to Temba's church. It was amazing, alive and full of joy. We were greeted with smiling faces and enthusiasm. The music was so joyful; lots of clapping and dancing. Temba and his wife are quite the dancers I must say:) People gave many testimonies of God's provision in their lives and this encouraged us so much. Those that were sick and discouraged were prayed over. Jason and I were asked to speak as well--oh my.
After church, Temba's sons took us home--we actually got a little turned around for whatever reason. After getting home, we realized Israel was gone and had our keys. He was at church, so we headed back into town to Temba's to get the keys and get some lunch. Then, things got even better: we ran out of gas on the highway. Yep. Temba's car does not have a working gas gauge, so it is a guessing game of when the gas will run out. Thankfully, we were able to get ahold of him and he came and filled up the car. Now, we had to turn it around because we were on a hill facing up and remember, it doesn't start without pushing it. So, the guys got out and pushed the car to get it going. After several attempts, it worked and we were on our way:) Hooray!!! Another praise! Fun times. Fun times:)
Our meal was interesting tonight. Canned beans and pasta mixed with cabbage and green beans. Yum:) We'll see how that sits overnight:) It was actually quite tasty--at least Jason thought so:)
Oh, one thing I must get used to around this place: the MASSIVE spiders, I mean MASSIVE! Oh my!!!! We, well Jason has killed two biggies--ugly, nasty things. He says they are good to keep the mosquitoes away. I say, I'd rather deal with the mosquitoes:) That's what bug spray is for and as far as I know, they haven't invented spider-spray for humans. So, keep on killin' em hubby:)
Love you all and miss you:)
We are in Bulawayo, Zimbabwe. We arrived on the 18th after a bit of a stressful flight--like we almost missed it--lines of people in the Johannesburg airport, unexpected baggage fees and running like madpeople through the airport to the gate--but we made it, all in one piece. And, our luggage made it as well--praise God!!!!
Wow, there is so much to write, I hardly know where to start, really. We unfortunately have not been able to e-mail very much or write on this blog. The internet was not very accessible in both Johannesburg and Pietermaritzburg, and the difficulty here has been lack of electricity at times and good, old fashioned dial-up:)
Anyhow, our time in both Johannesburg and Pietermaritzburg was awesome. It was so nice to spend time with family and friends, see a bit of Africa and rest:) I loved meeting the rest of the Hadfield clan and all the old neighbors. It was great to see Jason's old house and neighborhood, eat some good African food, and drink many cups of tea:) The best!
The landscape is breathtaking in Durban and Pietermaritzburg. It is lush, green, hilly, warm with
beautiful trees and flowers. Pictures cannot even capture the beauty here. The sunrises and sunsets take my breath away. Experiencing the beauty here reminds me that our Creator is such a God of wonder and beauty and that He created so many things for us to enjoy. Earth is painted with God's splendor and something deep within my soul wants to get on my knees and thank our God for beauty itself.
We have been richly blessed so far, in ways I never anticipated blessing to come. Each person we have stayed with has been so generous, so warm, so welcoming, so encouraging. They have truly welcomed us and made us feel at home. They have instantly touched our hearts and have become like family. I found myself wanting to cry when we left Jason's family, his neighbors that we visited and his good friend Stephen. I think the reason it has been so diffiult is because the time with them has been so short and deep down I pray our paths will cross again--only God knows.
Being here has made me all too aware and contemplative of time. It seems most of us verbalize our concern for time --all of the time. For instance, "we don't have enough time", "we need to save time", "we cannot waste time", "we need to make the most of time" etc. I think deep in the heart of every person, we fight against time. Moments we treasure pass far too quickly and those moments we love, we wish we could pause. I truly believe we are uncomfortable with time, because we were not created for it. We are eternal beings bound and limited by time. We despise the restrictions of time because it is against our very nature. Time is the span of a moment and I cannot think of a more beautiful thing than the absence of time as we understand it and the concept of eternity becoming a reality. So, enjoy the dislike of time--after all, we were meant for eternity. Ecc 3:11 "He has made everything beautiful in His time, He also set eternity in the hearts of men, yet they cannot fathom what God has done from the beginning to end".
On to other things:) I actually cannot believe we are here, in Zimbabwe. The day we arrived was an overwhelming one to say the least. After getting off the plane and making it through customs without any hassles, we were greeted with the bright and smiling eyes of our enthusiastic host, Temba. The joy this man carries humbles me to tears. Life here is everything but convenient, yet he is not bothered by it and carries a thankful spirit for every blessing.
We traveled to his home in his very old and broken down vehicle--but we made it--slowly:) I'm sure it was quite the humorous scene: four people piled in a tiny car, with 4 large suitcases hanging out of the trunk and one on both Jason and my lap, sweat pouring down our faces the look of "oh my, what have we gotten ourselves into" on our face as well. :) As we were driving there, I was struck at how very different Bulawayo is from any other city I have been to in Africa. It is strangely eerie, in a way. The roads are nearly barren as far as vehicles go. Gas prices are extremely high and most people have sold their cars because gas is either too expensive or simply not available. Kenyan, and South African streets are bustling with cars and people to the point it can be difficult to get around. Here it is quiet and still. Homes are lovely, but marred by Zimbabwe's crumbling economy. Gardens that once flourished are overgrown with weeds and thorns. Swimming pools once the center of good family times, are dry. Security fences surround homes to protect people from theft as others are desperate for food and money. This city is not like the undeveloped parts of Africa--it is/was a fully developed city that now exists with a broken soul; an empty, abandoned hollow soul. Eerie. There is also a sadness in people's eyes, yet smiles display the optomistic outlook they have for their country.
We have been able to spend quite a bit of time with Temba and his family. His wife, Julie is fantastic. They have been beyond helpful in getting our little home-away-from home set up and functional. They are warm and beautiful people, who praise God for the simple things in life--things I take for granted every day in the U. S. For example, the electricity goes out every day for up to 10 hours. Life is planned around when power is available. Also, water cuts occur quite often for most places in Bulawayo; limiting many homes to only 2-3 hours of water every 4 days. Thankfully, we have not had any water cuts yet, only electric cuts. Water shortages are massive for several reasons. The electric companies cut power to water companies, which then means water cannot be properly treated and available for people. Water is shut off simply to save it because of the drought. There have been times when the water companies have allowed water to homes untreated leading to a situation where people contract water-borne illnesses. No worries, we boil and cook everything!!:) The trick is being available to do that when the power is available:) Life is interesting, let me tell you. We have started many campfires already, just for cooking:)
Then, wow, the food shortages are crazy. Most stores, except for maybe 2 or three are empty, absolutely empty. The ones that are available are so expensive, even the middle class can hardly afford it, let alone the poor. For example, a loaf of bread cost anywhere from $1000-$1500 Zim dollars. The bank will only give people $1000 a day, even if you have way more in your account. So, to drive to the bank, then the store costs about $300 one-way--then you obviously have to get back, which is another $300-so what's left, $400--not even enough for a loaf of bread--can you even imagine--I think I sat with my jaw dropped for half a day. Most people have to cross the boarder for food--which is what we will be doing.
Despite all of these things, what amazes me the most is the strength, joy and resiliance that people carry here. They do not live at the mercy of their circumstances, but fully trust that God will provide for them. The Christians here are witnesses to God's almighty hand and His faithful care of them. Their needs are met. They eat each day and somehow they get where they need to go. They live life one day at a time, trusting that the God who has been faithful today, will be faithful tomorrow. Each day is a blessing. God meets their needs--all of them--I don't know how, but the way of God is impossible for the human mind to understand. I am glad for that. If I could understand how God works, then He would only be as big as my mind--not too big:)
Since being here, I have been touched by 2 people. Honestly, when I am in their presence, my heart wants to burst. It is hard to explain. Something in me moves, deep in my soul, to the point of wanting to give up everything I have to make even one day better for them. Nothing about their life is especially abnormal or remotely different from any other person here. Maybe its that, the mere existence of a beautiful soul who will live here and die here. Nothing special about their life, nothing extraordinary, just life. But, they keep on going, keep on loving, keep on living and keep on hoping. Beautiful.
The first person, is our guard, Israel: a sweet, kind, tender-hearted man. He is in his 30's, I'm guessing. He works hard at our house, cleaning, tending his garden, making us as comfortable and as we can be; making us feel at home. He goes out of his way to make sure we are served well. He doesn't ask anything of us or anyone. He just lives his life and does his job quietly, behind the scenes. He is paid with food, a room and a few small belongings. He eats 2 times a day. His diet: cabbage and a maize porridge. That is it. Day after day. When I think about my life at home, my heart is heavy and sad, not because I live like this, but because I don't. I eat wealthy compared to most of the world. I can easily spend 3 or 4 dollars on coffee or icecream whenever I want and buy it also for those I love. Why me and not him? Why? I am beyond thankful that God has blessed me and filled my life so full of luxuries and has allowed me to afford so many wonderful things. But still, I wonder why me and not him? I can only reconcile that I have been blessed to be a blessing, and to share what I have with others. I cannot hold onto things tightly as if they are mine. They are only mine to share. I am humbled, thoughtful and tearful.
The second person is a housemaid that helps Temba and his family. Sadly I don't even know her name. She is sweet and polite, but there is a deep sadness in her eyes that reveal a heart that is heavy and broken. She just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl only 3 days ago. This child does not have a name yet. She stayed in the hospital only one day. She had to bring her own IV equipment, food and any supplies she would need for after birthing. If she didn't bring them, nothing would be available for her. She was back to work only 2 days after giving birth. She must work or she will not eat and therefore her baby will not be nourished. Nothing is said of the father. He is absent as many dads are. Can you even imagine being in her shoes? Can you imagine her pain? Can you imagine sleeping at night with the huge task of raising a child alone? Can you imagine? I hardly want my mind to travel there because I know I will just break down; break down because it is just not right. This is not the way of God. This was never His intent. Mankind has just made a mess of things.
I guess I realize this has been a rather sober post. There is just so much to tell, so much sadness. But there is hope here as well. I hold onto that. God has blessed both Jason and I with abundant peace and a resolve we didn't even know existed within us. The peace of God does surpass all understanding. The strength of God proves faithful when there are limitations all around. God is good. This is good. Being here is a blessing beyond words and quite honestly, I cannot imagine being anywhere else right now. Despite the circumstances and the tragedy, hope exists and God's mercy and grace are fully available and fully present. In fact, grace is abundant--just when it is needed. Praise God!!!!
Here are a few prayer requests:
Continued safety: crime is here. When people are hungry, they will do anything to feed themselves and their families.
Health: So far, so good. Praise God!!! Just continue to pray that our stomachs agree with the food and water.
Transportation: Pray for God's provision for a car for Temba. Please pray! He desperately needs one. In order to visit patients, and do this ministry, he needs a reliable vehicle. His car does not start--we have to push it into 2nd gear to get it going. It is falling apart. It doesn't go over 35 MPH. Some type of fumes flow through the car as well. We will be traveling to Botswana to buy food in this car. Pray for God's protection and provision. I am confident God will provide. We have been here for 4 days, and we have gotten where we need to go--each time. God is good!!!!!
Bye for now---love and miss you all!!!!
Little Miss Sunshine: the African Version
Today (Sunday) was interesting to say the least:) We went to Temba's church. It was amazing, alive and full of joy. We were greeted with smiling faces and enthusiasm. The music was so joyful; lots of clapping and dancing. Temba and his wife are quite the dancers I must say:) People gave many testimonies of God's provision in their lives and this encouraged us so much. Those that were sick and discouraged were prayed over. Jason and I were asked to speak as well--oh my.
After church, Temba's sons took us home--we actually got a little turned around for whatever reason. After getting home, we realized Israel was gone and had our keys. He was at church, so we headed back into town to Temba's to get the keys and get some lunch. Then, things got even better: we ran out of gas on the highway. Yep. Temba's car does not have a working gas gauge, so it is a guessing game of when the gas will run out. Thankfully, we were able to get ahold of him and he came and filled up the car. Now, we had to turn it around because we were on a hill facing up and remember, it doesn't start without pushing it. So, the guys got out and pushed the car to get it going. After several attempts, it worked and we were on our way:) Hooray!!! Another praise! Fun times. Fun times:)
Our meal was interesting tonight. Canned beans and pasta mixed with cabbage and green beans. Yum:) We'll see how that sits overnight:) It was actually quite tasty--at least Jason thought so:)
Oh, one thing I must get used to around this place: the MASSIVE spiders, I mean MASSIVE! Oh my!!!! We, well Jason has killed two biggies--ugly, nasty things. He says they are good to keep the mosquitoes away. I say, I'd rather deal with the mosquitoes:) That's what bug spray is for and as far as I know, they haven't invented spider-spray for humans. So, keep on killin' em hubby:)
Love you all and miss you:)
Monday, September 15, 2008
Johazardousburg to Maritzburg
Howsit folks. We're here in Pietermaritzburg after a fantastic week and a bit in Joburg. Internet access has been limited so we haven't been able to post or email much. We've also been supremely lazy in between visiting family and friends. It's been awesome seeing all the new and familiar places. The weather has been dry and warm - 90 deg at the farm, 40 in Joburg - with cold spells at times.
The big thing for us has been how much more security is needed here. Security bars, gates, alarma systems and razor wire on high fences. Not unusual for me, but Ann certainly didn't like it. She says it 'shouldn't be normal to live like this'. I have to agree. The locals just shrug and say it's just life. Still, it's sad that it has to be this way.
We just remember that we have not been given a spirit of fear, but of power, love and self-control.
We're heading to Zimbabwe on Thursday to begin working with Temba from CHI. We are really looking forward to beginning the work we came here to do. Ann and I are both feeling more rested and charged up spiritually.
Thanks for the prayers and emails. We'll be in touch soon.
The big thing for us has been how much more security is needed here. Security bars, gates, alarma systems and razor wire on high fences. Not unusual for me, but Ann certainly didn't like it. She says it 'shouldn't be normal to live like this'. I have to agree. The locals just shrug and say it's just life. Still, it's sad that it has to be this way.
We just remember that we have not been given a spirit of fear, but of power, love and self-control.
We're heading to Zimbabwe on Thursday to begin working with Temba from CHI. We are really looking forward to beginning the work we came here to do. Ann and I are both feeling more rested and charged up spiritually.
Thanks for the prayers and emails. We'll be in touch soon.
Monday, September 1, 2008
We Can Just 'Be There'
This speaks for itself, I think.
Check it out here, PurposeDriven - HIVandtheChurch.com. It's called Rwandan church discovers compassion.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
You're going where?
It's official ... In a little over a week we'll be boarding the plane bound for South Africa, our first stop on this adventure. We'll be staying with my family for a couple of weeks before traveling up to Bulawayo, Zimbabwe where we'll be working for the remainder of the trip. Ah, Zimbabwe ... the land of my birth, it'll be good to be home. If you want to know more about what we'll be doing and who we'll be working with, check out Christ's Hope, Zimbabwe - christshope.org/zimbabwe/
Sunday, April 27, 2008
It's starting to come together ...
God is so good. Thank you West Side for the generous gift and committing to partner with us on this journey. Thank you to both of our employers who have allowed us to each take a leave of absence to do this work. Thank you to our landlord who has agreed to allow Kay and Luke to stay in our apartment while we're gone. It's amazing to see how God is working in the hearts of people to make this dream of ours a reality. Thank you Lord.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Greetings friends
Jason and I wanted to start a blog to share our road to Africa with you all. You have all been an important part of our lives and our desire is to this journey with you. We are excited to see what the next few months hold as we prepare for a trip we have felt called to journey for 2 years now. We are tentatively planning on leaving September through the end of November. So, keep us in your prayers these next few months!! We welcome any comments, any encouragement and any wisdom you may have to share with us.
Blessings.
Ann and Jason
Blessings.
Ann and Jason
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